Last night I & Pedhe went to citos to meet Angga and Oho. Turned out, there were also Ebonk, Tesar and Reno. So we all went to Brew and Co. for some drinks. Not too long afterwards, we were just getting comfy with our asses on the sofa, when suddenly the lights went off and the waiter said that we had to go bcos they were closing. Too bad. It's been a while since I sat over some drinks with people other than BangunEbonkAngga (if you ever come across this, no offense, guys! x)). And last night, Tesar and Reno were at their best selves. They actually produced some words, and one in particular even said 'hi' first--to each of us. Big progress, boys! xD However, yeah, the night didn't last long. Everyone was heading home.
Fortunately, the 'home' i was heading to is Ped's. Yep, I stayed over from friday until this afternoon. Big thanks Ped, for letting me stay over. Really, thanks. It was nice to have a company 24/7. Well, not 24/7 exactly...More like 24/3 or 24/2,5...Yea, whichever, yknow what I mean.
Yeah, and surely, like every other good thing, it ends. Here I am, alone in front of this stupid computer, writing a bunch of lonely words, hoping to get at least a little bit sleepy. Unable to explain why, I'm not feeling my best right now. If only I know who's to blame besides the quiet and cold night air. And then with school coming up in a week. It means no more waking up at o1oo pm, no more laying around all day, no more mall-hopping (yea, I'm a mall hopper, so what?)...Au contraire, it means hello dirty campus, hello nerve-breaking assignment, hello people telling me what to do, and hello annoying. Frustrating.
Well well, lookie, I thought I'd put an interesting, long entry tonight. Guess not. Things never feel right when you're left alone, right?
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
party/sex
Hellow, I just got home from Dinda's bash at the Little Bagdhad. It was fun seeing high school seniors in a sweet-17 party. Reminded me of those high school days. Yea, yea, yea, by now, you must be beyond bored with my fascination toward my high school times. Anyways, the fab four was in a full formation, plus there were Ebonk, Kacank, Bangun, Angga, and Oho. So, it was nice, considering usually I had to choose between the girls, or the guys. Oyeah, there was Hilman...and someone was reminded of certain someonee. Cute! Then of course I could never say no to shisha. I enjoy getting my brain turned into smoke and feeling all light-headed. Hahah. Oyeaah, there were balloons!! I and the girls brought our own balloons to the party. Hahah, we're at least 3 years older than the other kids, yet we were the only ones whose wrists had baloons tied up to them. Aaaand, of course we tried the helium trick. It's not as easy as I thought. It was like, 5 balloons for every 5 or 6 squeaky words. Surely, when we did manage to produce the chipmunk's voice, it was hilarious!! Yeah, all in all, it was nice. So girlsss, start thinking about our birthday plan! If it's not this year, well then, next year x)
[curiousity]
Not too long ago, there was 40 Days and 40 Nights on starmovies. And I watched it for like, the gazillionth time. Crappy, I know. But hey, Mr.Hartnett...Should I say more? Besides, I love the scene with the orchids. I think it's beautiful, in a way. Then it gets me thinking...When you're with this relatively "the right person" and add a little imagination, can this person gets you off without touching you and with a stem of orchids instead?? Cool. Then, there's another curiosity I get after seeing the movie. How many times a day do guys need to walk their dogs? I mean, in average. Does everyone I know do that in a daily basis? Even those guys who seem to be a holier-than-thou goody-goody virgin? Hahahah, some of you might be making weird faces right now, thinking, can't this girl find a more intellect topic to be curious about? Well, not now. Oyeah, this is irrelevant to Mr.Hartnett sex-related movie, but while we're on the subject, I'm also wondering, can people really get the big 'O' in their dreams? Heheheh.
However, people, don't bother yourself with this curiousity of mine. I just have the urge to share this with the whole world. Now, it's time to get lost in your mind...and here's a perfect song to go with it,
"two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain
sing me a rainbow it's sunny again
swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below
could I, could I keep dreaming for a little while longer
hope I'll never wake
when I'm thinking about you
so that you know - I never want to wake
cos now I'm thinking about you "
[the sundays]
[curiousity]
Not too long ago, there was 40 Days and 40 Nights on starmovies. And I watched it for like, the gazillionth time. Crappy, I know. But hey, Mr.Hartnett...Should I say more? Besides, I love the scene with the orchids. I think it's beautiful, in a way. Then it gets me thinking...When you're with this relatively "the right person" and add a little imagination, can this person gets you off without touching you and with a stem of orchids instead?? Cool. Then, there's another curiosity I get after seeing the movie. How many times a day do guys need to walk their dogs? I mean, in average. Does everyone I know do that in a daily basis? Even those guys who seem to be a holier-than-thou goody-goody virgin? Hahahah, some of you might be making weird faces right now, thinking, can't this girl find a more intellect topic to be curious about? Well, not now. Oyeah, this is irrelevant to Mr.Hartnett sex-related movie, but while we're on the subject, I'm also wondering, can people really get the big 'O' in their dreams? Heheheh.
However, people, don't bother yourself with this curiousity of mine. I just have the urge to share this with the whole world. Now, it's time to get lost in your mind...and here's a perfect song to go with it,
"two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain
sing me a rainbow it's sunny again
swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below
could I, could I keep dreaming for a little while longer
hope I'll never wake
when I'm thinking about you
so that you know - I never want to wake
cos now I'm thinking about you "
[the sundays]
Friday, August 20, 2004
Life, lately...
Urgh, my comp is getting more and more unbelievable each time. So, since only god knows when my computer is going to crash (which most likely is soon) and I may not be able to update this blog in a while, I think I'll write something here while I can.
Went to campus on wednesday and thursday for...I don't know, really. Still, I haven't liked the atmosphere of it. Thankgod for Bune; practically everyone knows that I always steal her away from her friends and her works just so that she can accompany me. Heheh. Anyhoo, the class registration thingy's coming up. So, expect some whiny rants about how hectic it will be for me next week. By the way, I think I'll take Spanish class this semester. Should be interesting, I just hope my lazy ass won't get in the way.
[today's dose of stupidity]
Have you ever had so many secrets that even your journals and your closest friends aren't enough to keep it? Let's say, that your secret is...acting beyond stupid and then dissing people with some names-mentioning. And than not being able to keep it to yourself (or your posse), you have to tape it with a DV. Yup, I've done that. Lotsa times, in fact, knowing that no one can get their hands on those tapes. Well, shit happens. Long-story-made-short: one of those filled-with-sides-of-me-that-people-don't-know-yet tapes is somewhere across the sea at this very moment. Hahahahah, I thought things like this could only happen in the movie. Not too long ago, I panicked like hell. However, a few things have been done, and if everything works well, that tape is on the way to Jakarta tomorrow. Amen. Still, I can't sit still.
Mmm, okay, what else...what else..
Oyeah, I'm going to someone's sweet 17 party tomorrow. Should be fun, since I can never go back to mine. Heheh.
Owkay, that's about it. No more materials for the updating. Sooo, see yaa! x)
"listen to the waves..
everything communicates..
will it ever be anything more than
wishful thinking"
[duncan sheik]
Went to campus on wednesday and thursday for...I don't know, really. Still, I haven't liked the atmosphere of it. Thankgod for Bune; practically everyone knows that I always steal her away from her friends and her works just so that she can accompany me. Heheh. Anyhoo, the class registration thingy's coming up. So, expect some whiny rants about how hectic it will be for me next week. By the way, I think I'll take Spanish class this semester. Should be interesting, I just hope my lazy ass won't get in the way.
[today's dose of stupidity]
Have you ever had so many secrets that even your journals and your closest friends aren't enough to keep it? Let's say, that your secret is...acting beyond stupid and then dissing people with some names-mentioning. And than not being able to keep it to yourself (or your posse), you have to tape it with a DV. Yup, I've done that. Lotsa times, in fact, knowing that no one can get their hands on those tapes. Well, shit happens. Long-story-made-short: one of those filled-with-sides-of-me-that-people-don't-know-yet tapes is somewhere across the sea at this very moment. Hahahahah, I thought things like this could only happen in the movie. Not too long ago, I panicked like hell. However, a few things have been done, and if everything works well, that tape is on the way to Jakarta tomorrow. Amen. Still, I can't sit still.
Mmm, okay, what else...what else..
Oyeah, I'm going to someone's sweet 17 party tomorrow. Should be fun, since I can never go back to mine. Heheh.
Owkay, that's about it. No more materials for the updating. Sooo, see yaa! x)
"listen to the waves..
everything communicates..
will it ever be anything more than
wishful thinking"
[duncan sheik]
Sunday, August 15, 2004
Perrrfect
Last night, Pedhe & Bune came over and rescued me from a boring family event. And then we went to Rosel's.
My point is...I met him yesterday. And at night, I met all PedBunRoz. Thankyouuuuu God!! What a fine way to spend a saturday....May there be more days like yesterday x)
My point is...I met him yesterday. And at night, I met all PedBunRoz. Thankyouuuuu God!! What a fine way to spend a saturday....May there be more days like yesterday x)
Friday, August 13, 2004
The not-yet-5th-semester breakdown
I woke up at 6 today, after sleeping for like 3 hours or less. And I went to campus for the english gathering thingy. Like I predicted, it took a long time to get started and even with a longer lunch break. Being there felt like an eternity in hell! Then I was chosen to be one of the PJs as in 'Penanggung Jawab' for one of the events. And people told me that it was just a piece of cake, but still, don't they know that me and responsible don't go well together. Good idea in choosing me, guys!! x6 And people know I hate responsibility. I hate that pressure you know, okay Run, you're a blahblahblah, and your job is blahblahblah. Creeping me out!! Not to mention tomorrow I've to wake up as early as today, and then go all the way to depok again to hear people debating one another and talking the same stuff over and over and over again.
However, things weren't that bad today. I mean I got to see some friends (a very few, yeah people, force me to come, while yourself manage to find reasons not to come). But still, I got that I-wanna-go-home feeling. I wasn't feeling comfortable staying that long in campus and talking to people. My gooood, I could just breakdown and scream or cry or whatever right there! No offense people, I still feel like I don't belong. And I don't feel like going back to campus right now..
Huhuh, I know I'm complaining here...And god knows I hate myself when complaining. But I just need to get this crap out. That's okay, right?
However, things weren't that bad today. I mean I got to see some friends (a very few, yeah people, force me to come, while yourself manage to find reasons not to come). But still, I got that I-wanna-go-home feeling. I wasn't feeling comfortable staying that long in campus and talking to people. My gooood, I could just breakdown and scream or cry or whatever right there! No offense people, I still feel like I don't belong. And I don't feel like going back to campus right now..
Huhuh, I know I'm complaining here...And god knows I hate myself when complaining. But I just need to get this crap out. That's okay, right?
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Here's a taste of an amateur blogger.
New layout, people. Spent so many wee hours to find a skin that won't clash with the fuckin ad-banner. Found one, and I changed the image into my own personal (I know it's just a bunch of words, but still..give me a li'l credit here). And I know it's getting harder to read my entries; yknow, with the itsy-bitsy font size and blurry words on the background, not to mention the 'get high. dream. fuck' ones that aren't blurry. But you readers (a very few of you), stay loyal! I'll change the layout as soon as I find a better one. Remember, comments are always appreciated... ;)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna sleep and make up for these past few days.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna sleep and make up for these past few days.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Li'l lesson from Mr.Mayer
"When you first meet somebody, you find out they like you first of all. A friend of a friend of theirs says he/she really really likes you and it floors you, kills you, sends you to the ground. You gotta pick yourself up off the ground and then you get their phone number and you call them up right and you say, "Yeah that was a great conversation, can I see you sometime?" And then they say this, they say, "I'd like that" And "I'd like that" makes you fall on the floor again. Your heart is about to stop because of "I'd like that". Nothing feels better than "I'd like that". So now,your blood pressure's goin'. You're six feet off the ground. You can't sleep because of "I'd like that". So then you hang out for a while and you call and you talk on the phone all the time and then you drop the bomb or what feels like the bomb.You say, "You know what? I've been thinkin about you a lot". And she goes "Haaaaugh!" And you go "What happened?" and she goes "I'm sorry. I just. I just. I just. That's...I've been thinking about you too". BAM! Higher into the sky. But now, "I'd like that"? Done! Now you're up to "I'm thinking about you".
Then, however number of months pass, it makes you feel comfortable saying it, you say "I gotta tell you something". They go "What?". You go, "I'm in love with you". And nothing in the world sounds better than "I'm in love with you". And then maybe she starts crying or maybe she goes "Huuuugh!" And then all of a sudden you're like, "I'm in". But now, what doesn't work? "I'd like that" and "I've been thinking about you". Now we're at "I'm in love with you". Then maybe someday we move up to "I love you". Fastforward, now you're like "I love you a lot. I love you more than anything in life". Now "I love you" doesn't work. It's a threshold. It keeps moving up.
Fastforward like six months, six weeks, whatever the case may be. Now you're on like, "I wanna marry you. I wanna impregnate you with my love. I wanna- I wanna just send my love to you. Damnit! Words don't work anymore!" And then you say this line and you know- you know you've used this line before. "I just wish they'd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love, cos love just doesn't describe what I feel". And so then, now he or she starts asking "Do you love me?" And you start going, "Of course I love you". Well say it!" And then it becomes "Say it twice" and they go "Say it three times". And then, you cross a really interesting point, where all of a sudden it becomes "I hate you. I hate you". And you go "Oh my God, she hates me". And now it's "I hate you more than anything!" And then it's like "We're over!" And they're like "No, we're not!" And you go "Yes we are!"
And now the words completely do not work at all. You're left with nothing. You're throwing punches under water. You're done! You know what the moral lesson of this story is--if there is one?
Never ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of "I'd like that.""
[John. Taken from Any Given Thursday concert]
Then, however number of months pass, it makes you feel comfortable saying it, you say "I gotta tell you something". They go "What?". You go, "I'm in love with you". And nothing in the world sounds better than "I'm in love with you". And then maybe she starts crying or maybe she goes "Huuuugh!" And then all of a sudden you're like, "I'm in". But now, what doesn't work? "I'd like that" and "I've been thinking about you". Now we're at "I'm in love with you". Then maybe someday we move up to "I love you". Fastforward, now you're like "I love you a lot. I love you more than anything in life". Now "I love you" doesn't work. It's a threshold. It keeps moving up.
Fastforward like six months, six weeks, whatever the case may be. Now you're on like, "I wanna marry you. I wanna impregnate you with my love. I wanna- I wanna just send my love to you. Damnit! Words don't work anymore!" And then you say this line and you know- you know you've used this line before. "I just wish they'd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love, cos love just doesn't describe what I feel". And so then, now he or she starts asking "Do you love me?" And you start going, "Of course I love you". Well say it!" And then it becomes "Say it twice" and they go "Say it three times". And then, you cross a really interesting point, where all of a sudden it becomes "I hate you. I hate you". And you go "Oh my God, she hates me". And now it's "I hate you more than anything!" And then it's like "We're over!" And they're like "No, we're not!" And you go "Yes we are!"
And now the words completely do not work at all. You're left with nothing. You're throwing punches under water. You're done! You know what the moral lesson of this story is--if there is one?
Never ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of "I'd like that.""
[John. Taken from Any Given Thursday concert]
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Mengejar Matahari? I already have three of them here xD
Persahabatan adalah setiap detik yang dilalui
adalah hidup...adalah berlari...
..mengejar matahari..
Hahahah. I just watch the movie with the girls. Mengejar Matahari, yknow. Yes, so I went with my 3 best friends to watch some local movie about friendship between four guys. So sue us for being corny. The movie was good! I mean, finally, a local movie with some quality. And the fact that two of the actors are good-looking gives a plus point ;) I and the girls went ga-ga over those guys. Okay, I hate to admit that I go crazy over some local stars; but Fedi Nuril is cute. And Fauzi Baadilla is just an epitome of a manly man...Heheh. We were being kinda noisy back in the cinema, gushing over the guys, and of course, crying our eyes out! xD Rosel didn't cry at all though, she already knew how the ending would be. Rosel and...wait, only Rosel who didn't cry. Hahah, do the math, people!! ;D The movie has a good story, yknow, friendship and all. You'll be surprised at how much we can relate to the movie. Some things remind me of my own friendship, right, girls? ;p Well, thank god we live a better life than those guys. I'm glad we're all still alive today and none of us is going to jail for killing someone. I still want the four of us to hang out together for a long, long time.
By the way, you know when was the last time I went to watch a movie before this with the girls? All three of them?? December 2nd 2002!! Sick. However, it was nice going to a movie with them again. Definitely should do this more often, girls! Come on, when you all have become succesful, you'll be too busy to go on our supposedly-biweekly gathering. Okay, so none of you will be stabbed by some preman and none of you will be arrested for shooting people in the head. But maybe, some of you will be busy with your book's deadline, your multi-millionaire company, or maybe, some of you will be busy walking around in Amsterdam. Sooo, why don't we see each other as often as we can now...while we can. Seriously, I love each time spent with you girls! We rule, you know xD Yeah, keep on babbling about this friendship thing, Run. No one read this except maybe for pig #2 xp
*From another note: Remember the rainbow I keep looking for (or waiting for)? Well, it's just a beautiful thing with its beautiful colours that I can't guarantee to stick around infinitely. So, all I'm saying is, thank god I already have the sun here with me...times three x)
Hahah, that friggin movie has managed to bring out the corny side of me!
..us, aug 2nd '04..
adalah hidup...adalah berlari...
..mengejar matahari..
Hahahah. I just watch the movie with the girls. Mengejar Matahari, yknow. Yes, so I went with my 3 best friends to watch some local movie about friendship between four guys. So sue us for being corny. The movie was good! I mean, finally, a local movie with some quality. And the fact that two of the actors are good-looking gives a plus point ;) I and the girls went ga-ga over those guys. Okay, I hate to admit that I go crazy over some local stars; but Fedi Nuril is cute. And Fauzi Baadilla is just an epitome of a manly man...Heheh. We were being kinda noisy back in the cinema, gushing over the guys, and of course, crying our eyes out! xD Rosel didn't cry at all though, she already knew how the ending would be. Rosel and...wait, only Rosel who didn't cry. Hahah, do the math, people!! ;D The movie has a good story, yknow, friendship and all. You'll be surprised at how much we can relate to the movie. Some things remind me of my own friendship, right, girls? ;p Well, thank god we live a better life than those guys. I'm glad we're all still alive today and none of us is going to jail for killing someone. I still want the four of us to hang out together for a long, long time.
By the way, you know when was the last time I went to watch a movie before this with the girls? All three of them?? December 2nd 2002!! Sick. However, it was nice going to a movie with them again. Definitely should do this more often, girls! Come on, when you all have become succesful, you'll be too busy to go on our supposedly-biweekly gathering. Okay, so none of you will be stabbed by some preman and none of you will be arrested for shooting people in the head. But maybe, some of you will be busy with your book's deadline, your multi-millionaire company, or maybe, some of you will be busy walking around in Amsterdam. Sooo, why don't we see each other as often as we can now...while we can. Seriously, I love each time spent with you girls! We rule, you know xD Yeah, keep on babbling about this friendship thing, Run. No one read this except maybe for pig #2 xp
*From another note: Remember the rainbow I keep looking for (or waiting for)? Well, it's just a beautiful thing with its beautiful colours that I can't guarantee to stick around infinitely. So, all I'm saying is, thank god I already have the sun here with me...times three x)
Hahah, that friggin movie has managed to bring out the corny side of me!
..us, aug 2nd '04..
Sunday, August 01, 2004
"..i would drop my life to take her place.."
Hellow, readers! Relax, no heavy stuff for tonight. Just wanna write something...
Lessee, I just bought new pair of glasses today. Everyone, say hello to the queen of geeks! 8-)
I don't know if I'll wear it in public. Maybe I will. Maybe it'll be fun to go outside the house looking like a...well, geek. Maybe these glasses can hide me from the world...apaaaa siiiih, Ruuun. Well you know, at times when you don't want to deal with anything, when you just wanna hide those eyes from being read. Or when they get teary. Or maybe when you just wanna hide them bcos no one is around to look into them anyway...Well, you know.
Yea, anyway...*I have no idea what I'm talking about*
Last night I & Pedhe went to Bangun's. There was Hilman and he was hilarious. I don't know...He has this dorky stupidity in him. It's nice when you have an amusement like him around, yknow. Bangun's wasn't as crowded as usual, though. In fact, it wasn't crowded at all...it was...quiet. Calming, peaceful, but not yet comforting. It was nice having weeds practically coming out of my ears though. Wish I could smoke weeds like, everyday and then just easily go to sleep. O yeah, speaking of which (of what, actually :p), you know what I miss? I miss being drunk and the stupidity of it...yknow, being a handful 5-year-old to people. Like the 1st time I touched booze, or when I was being an ass to my classmates in Puncak, or those NY's eves. I miss me running around, jumping around and just being overly active. Hahah, can't wait for the next NY's eve, I guess.
Anyways, tomorrow I'll catch some movie with the girls. Wee-hoo! x) Of course, after Bune's back from her course, and Rozelle from her short-semester classes, and Pedhe from her campus. Eeeek, I'm the only loser who'll still be sleeping at 12 pm tomorrow! xD Hahah, guess the hols is almost over, huh. It's obviously over if you look at my contact list on msn, there are only 2 people who are online! Lany and Dita. Yeah, like I have something to talk about with them.
Okay, I run out of craps to say. If there's some more, I'll be back!
"For when you find yourself
Pinned under her demands
I am still an option that you have
So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst
You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about
Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings
We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of everyone
Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this
It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry"
[her space holiday]
Love this song. Sindrow just sent it to me tonight...Already, I love it. I didn't write all the lyrics down though. By the way, can I rephrase the last sentence into 'wanting to' instead of 'seeing you'?
Lessee, I just bought new pair of glasses today. Everyone, say hello to the queen of geeks! 8-)
I don't know if I'll wear it in public. Maybe I will. Maybe it'll be fun to go outside the house looking like a...well, geek. Maybe these glasses can hide me from the world...apaaaa siiiih, Ruuun. Well you know, at times when you don't want to deal with anything, when you just wanna hide those eyes from being read. Or when they get teary. Or maybe when you just wanna hide them bcos no one is around to look into them anyway...Well, you know.
Yea, anyway...*I have no idea what I'm talking about*
Last night I & Pedhe went to Bangun's. There was Hilman and he was hilarious. I don't know...He has this dorky stupidity in him. It's nice when you have an amusement like him around, yknow. Bangun's wasn't as crowded as usual, though. In fact, it wasn't crowded at all...it was...quiet. Calming, peaceful, but not yet comforting. It was nice having weeds practically coming out of my ears though. Wish I could smoke weeds like, everyday and then just easily go to sleep. O yeah, speaking of which (of what, actually :p), you know what I miss? I miss being drunk and the stupidity of it...yknow, being a handful 5-year-old to people. Like the 1st time I touched booze, or when I was being an ass to my classmates in Puncak, or those NY's eves. I miss me running around, jumping around and just being overly active. Hahah, can't wait for the next NY's eve, I guess.
Anyways, tomorrow I'll catch some movie with the girls. Wee-hoo! x) Of course, after Bune's back from her course, and Rozelle from her short-semester classes, and Pedhe from her campus. Eeeek, I'm the only loser who'll still be sleeping at 12 pm tomorrow! xD Hahah, guess the hols is almost over, huh. It's obviously over if you look at my contact list on msn, there are only 2 people who are online! Lany and Dita. Yeah, like I have something to talk about with them.
Okay, I run out of craps to say. If there's some more, I'll be back!
"For when you find yourself
Pinned under her demands
I am still an option that you have
So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst
You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about
Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings
We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of everyone
Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this
It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry"
[her space holiday]
Love this song. Sindrow just sent it to me tonight...Already, I love it. I didn't write all the lyrics down though. By the way, can I rephrase the last sentence into 'wanting to' instead of 'seeing you'?
Thursday, July 29, 2004
..i thought that you'd be here by now..
"wont you, take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
i don't know who you are
but i'm with you..."
[lavigne]
take me somewhere new
i don't know who you are
but i'm with you..."
[lavigne]
Thursday, July 22, 2004
missing yesterday much?
Not-so-new newsflash: Archie and Indra got in to 70!! Yeah!!
Moving on..
Yesterday, @ Ped's I listened to Wilco's Heavy Metal Drummer and a few other "senior year songs" while looking at the graduation picture of me & the girls. Uh-oh, flashback attacked. That Wilco's song had always reminded me of one certain brief moment back in senior year. And yesterday, it still did.
Yesterday, when the flash of that 'she-fell-in-love-with-the-drummer' thingy in that narrow hallway came back to me...Oh, how I miss high school so much! I miss those days...when a moment like that was already the most dreadful one you can find. When some guy was just another so-called "high-school crush" from the class across the hallway. When I could see all of PedBun&Roz at least 6 days a week. When the only thing that I required to do to see him was standing up from my chair, and there he was, always laughing at godknowswhat with his friends.
I MISS THOSE DAYS!!!
Everyday I'd come to my class, the infamous 3IPS1, and put my bag and my oversized binder on my desk. And when I came a bit late, I would have to fight for my territory either with Ocha, or Yoyo, or Oho, or practically anyone. All day long, all I did was either:
*taking care of our "pojok tenang" scrapdoor (by 'our' I mean me & the girls),
*cooling myself (or sleeping) beneath the fan,
*going for a drink at the cafetaria and never going back to the class,
*sitting in the hallway and singing our ass off,
*and practically everything!
I (& *ahem* some people) would go out to the hallway and we (yes, we! ;p) would gush about some guys for the obvious reason. And my classmates who knew about this 'crush' thingy would tease us about it. Sometimes Ingga would play guitar, and I along with a bunch of people would sing from one song to lotsa others, off-key of course. And Isya would sing either green-day's songs or dangdut xD Rian would get on my nerve and we would fight like always. Nisye and Yoyok would constantly fight. Basically people would do their own not-so-ordinary things.
Later on, I & the girls would skip the extra classes. When we skip class, you most likely would find us at the Lamandau (eating Pak Jun's satay, or buying Quickly, or eating satay padang (i could eat two portions at once)), or at Blok M Plaza (watching some movie at the cinema, or getting out pics taken). We'd go back to the school when the classes were dismissed. We'd sit on the green bench or the pink bars on the field, watching people passed by, or the guys playing soccer, or just the guys, period. ;p
When it got darker and the school was almost empty, I'd go home with whoever that could take me home that day. I'd write about that day on my journal, how fun it was, how fine-looking someone was, how dreading it was when I did something stupid in front of that someone. And I don't remember it clearly, but I definitely remember how I could sleep tight at night knowing the next morning I would go back to my high-school and the day would turn out to be another happiness-filled day with my friends. Awwwwwwwww!
I could go on and on and on about how great it all was...but no use, huh? I miss my high-school, I'm practically stuck in the shadow of my high-school life; but still, nothing can change the fact that I'm no longer in it. I've passed high-school and it's been too far gone. Two years...tsk tsk. I'm old.
I MISS THOSE OLD DAYS!! *said that already, haven't I?*
And I wish I could go back to that time when everything was that simple.
"sun comes up then go away
so does graduation day
you did your walk of fame and that was it"
[dropline]
Moving on..
Yesterday, @ Ped's I listened to Wilco's Heavy Metal Drummer and a few other "senior year songs" while looking at the graduation picture of me & the girls. Uh-oh, flashback attacked. That Wilco's song had always reminded me of one certain brief moment back in senior year. And yesterday, it still did.
Yesterday, when the flash of that 'she-fell-in-love-with-the-drummer' thingy in that narrow hallway came back to me...Oh, how I miss high school so much! I miss those days...when a moment like that was already the most dreadful one you can find. When some guy was just another so-called "high-school crush" from the class across the hallway. When I could see all of PedBun&Roz at least 6 days a week. When the only thing that I required to do to see him was standing up from my chair, and there he was, always laughing at godknowswhat with his friends.
I MISS THOSE DAYS!!!
Everyday I'd come to my class, the infamous 3IPS1, and put my bag and my oversized binder on my desk. And when I came a bit late, I would have to fight for my territory either with Ocha, or Yoyo, or Oho, or practically anyone. All day long, all I did was either:
*taking care of our "pojok tenang" scrapdoor (by 'our' I mean me & the girls),
*cooling myself (or sleeping) beneath the fan,
*going for a drink at the cafetaria and never going back to the class,
*sitting in the hallway and singing our ass off,
*and practically everything!
I (& *ahem* some people) would go out to the hallway and we (yes, we! ;p) would gush about some guys for the obvious reason. And my classmates who knew about this 'crush' thingy would tease us about it. Sometimes Ingga would play guitar, and I along with a bunch of people would sing from one song to lotsa others, off-key of course. And Isya would sing either green-day's songs or dangdut xD Rian would get on my nerve and we would fight like always. Nisye and Yoyok would constantly fight. Basically people would do their own not-so-ordinary things.
Later on, I & the girls would skip the extra classes. When we skip class, you most likely would find us at the Lamandau (eating Pak Jun's satay, or buying Quickly, or eating satay padang (i could eat two portions at once)), or at Blok M Plaza (watching some movie at the cinema, or getting out pics taken). We'd go back to the school when the classes were dismissed. We'd sit on the green bench or the pink bars on the field, watching people passed by, or the guys playing soccer, or just the guys, period. ;p
When it got darker and the school was almost empty, I'd go home with whoever that could take me home that day. I'd write about that day on my journal, how fun it was, how fine-looking someone was, how dreading it was when I did something stupid in front of that someone. And I don't remember it clearly, but I definitely remember how I could sleep tight at night knowing the next morning I would go back to my high-school and the day would turn out to be another happiness-filled day with my friends. Awwwwwwwww!
I could go on and on and on about how great it all was...but no use, huh? I miss my high-school, I'm practically stuck in the shadow of my high-school life; but still, nothing can change the fact that I'm no longer in it. I've passed high-school and it's been too far gone. Two years...tsk tsk. I'm old.
I MISS THOSE OLD DAYS!! *said that already, haven't I?*
And I wish I could go back to that time when everything was that simple.
"sun comes up then go away
so does graduation day
you did your walk of fame and that was it"
[dropline]
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Black Coffee
Day dreaming
Chain smoking
Always laughing
Always joking
I remain the same,
Did I tell you that I love you?
Feel like singing, in case you're wondering. I know, I know, All Saints?? But still, I think they are the most decent girlband among the others. Heheh.
Chain smoking
Always laughing
Always joking
I remain the same,
Did I tell you that I love you?
Feel like singing, in case you're wondering. I know, I know, All Saints?? But still, I think they are the most decent girlband among the others. Heheh.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Kriztal Reunion
I just got home from IPS1 reunion that I mentioned yesterday. It went great. Not everyone could make it, but that's okay. I went to Citos with the girls and Mira. When we arrived, Agay, Ocha & Icha were already there. But Icha only stayed for like, 5 minutes or so (she had to go to Puncak). I still appreciate her for showing up though. Then there were Rian, Bhe, Tondi, Dinar, Isya, Nisye, and Ingga. Some of them protested bcos we were running a bit late, namely Ocha. Heheh, we were bickering just like the old times. He even pulled Rosel's hair, and then Rosel chased him around like little kids xD
First, we gathered around @ Starbucks. But then due to the lack of seat and not-quite-comfortable atmosphere, we moved to Coffee Bean. Later on, Kacank came with Moron, then Ebonk with Bangun, and lastly Oho came (very very late). O yeah, Bebek & Sani were also there. And o yeah, Angga.
At first, few people were scattering around (Agay, Rian, Bhe, Tondi went to grab some meal @ A&W, then later on Ingga and *I forget who* did the same, then Agay went with Sani and Bebek to godknowswhere). And then people chatted in groups; yknow, I still sat next to the girls, Bhe-Tondi-Agay were on the separated table, Isya and Rian were involved in their own computer-related talks...
However, as time went by, things got much easier. What's a gathering without picture-taking, right? So we took some great pictures. No, scratch that, we took TONS of pictures. Then I finally managed to get my lazy ass to stand up and chatted with each one of my ex-classmates. Oh how I missed them so much. Isya was still hilarious, Ingga was still a dear, Rian was as nerve-racking as always, Nisye-Mira-Dinar were still the only few girls that I could stand, Ocha was still..well, Ocha, and the rest...they were still pleasant to be around.
I took a picture of me & Ocha, and people were teasing us about being brother & sister, and about our chins. Later on, I fought with Rian (bcos: 1st, he almost spilled coffee to my lap, 2nd, he put an old newspaper into my bag without me knowing it, and other unimportant reasons), and some people were joking about making bets of who'd be the winner. Seriously, just like the old times! They're still the same, most lovable set of classmates that I've ever known. Yup, some good things just don't change, except maybe now we see each other once in a blue moon.
Wee-hoo, seriously, the reunion had been fun. Love 'em all, they're the best and comforting. Okay2, I think I've gone overboard with all of this class-praising. But who cares, Kriztal rocks! IPS1 (2001-2002) rules, and pity on you who wasn't included in it! xP
First, we gathered around @ Starbucks. But then due to the lack of seat and not-quite-comfortable atmosphere, we moved to Coffee Bean. Later on, Kacank came with Moron, then Ebonk with Bangun, and lastly Oho came (very very late). O yeah, Bebek & Sani were also there. And o yeah, Angga.
At first, few people were scattering around (Agay, Rian, Bhe, Tondi went to grab some meal @ A&W, then later on Ingga and *I forget who* did the same, then Agay went with Sani and Bebek to godknowswhere). And then people chatted in groups; yknow, I still sat next to the girls, Bhe-Tondi-Agay were on the separated table, Isya and Rian were involved in their own computer-related talks...
However, as time went by, things got much easier. What's a gathering without picture-taking, right? So we took some great pictures. No, scratch that, we took TONS of pictures. Then I finally managed to get my lazy ass to stand up and chatted with each one of my ex-classmates. Oh how I missed them so much. Isya was still hilarious, Ingga was still a dear, Rian was as nerve-racking as always, Nisye-Mira-Dinar were still the only few girls that I could stand, Ocha was still..well, Ocha, and the rest...they were still pleasant to be around.
I took a picture of me & Ocha, and people were teasing us about being brother & sister, and about our chins. Later on, I fought with Rian (bcos: 1st, he almost spilled coffee to my lap, 2nd, he put an old newspaper into my bag without me knowing it, and other unimportant reasons), and some people were joking about making bets of who'd be the winner. Seriously, just like the old times! They're still the same, most lovable set of classmates that I've ever known. Yup, some good things just don't change, except maybe now we see each other once in a blue moon.
Wee-hoo, seriously, the reunion had been fun. Love 'em all, they're the best and comforting. Okay2, I think I've gone overboard with all of this class-praising. But who cares, Kriztal rocks! IPS1 (2001-2002) rules, and pity on you who wasn't included in it! xP
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Recap
*Monday*
Woke up early in the morning to go to the airport (Jaya was leaving the country). It should've been a sob-fest moment, but heck, I think I'll see jaya when I go to Malaysia, so, I still can hold back the tears.
Afterwards, I spent the whole afternoon @ Bangun's. Trying hard to stay clean and sober. And I did. Stay clean & sober, that is. Save it for the rainy days, yknow.. ;p Heheh. Then, after I took a nap @ Bangun's porch (xp), Pedhe & I headed to Bune's just to have a lil chit-chat. In the evening, we went to Rosel's supposedly to kill some time. But then tante Retno asked us to stay over. So we did. Heheh.
*Tuesday*
Rosel had to go to her campus (she's taking the short-semester thingy); so we went to Depok to drop Rosel and to pick Bune altogether. Took some cute pics, as always. Heheh.
That night, Bune & I stayed over @ Pedhe's. We roasted some marshmallows, and watched Freaky Friday (been a long time since I watched those guilty-pleasure-fest teen flicks). Sounds like a decent, fun girls-night-in huh? Well, it would've been, if only Bune didn't fall asleep during the dvd-watching (kidding, Bun :p)
*Wednesday*
Nothing significant. Bune had to go home. So it was only me, stayed over @ Ped's again.
*Today*
Pedhe & I spent the afternoon trying to install the...what...USB thingy for her DV's. Then, supposedly we wanted to catch Spiderman 2 at the cinema, but we were, um, like, 5 minutes late. So we only had dinner at the Daily Bread.
*Random Notes
+Tomorrow there will be a li'l reunion for IPS1. *crossing fingers* hope it'll be fun.
+I found out tonight, that his number is on my cell's dialled list. How the hell did it get there?? Anyhow, don't really care.
Woke up early in the morning to go to the airport (Jaya was leaving the country). It should've been a sob-fest moment, but heck, I think I'll see jaya when I go to Malaysia, so, I still can hold back the tears.
Afterwards, I spent the whole afternoon @ Bangun's. Trying hard to stay clean and sober. And I did. Stay clean & sober, that is. Save it for the rainy days, yknow.. ;p Heheh. Then, after I took a nap @ Bangun's porch (xp), Pedhe & I headed to Bune's just to have a lil chit-chat. In the evening, we went to Rosel's supposedly to kill some time. But then tante Retno asked us to stay over. So we did. Heheh.
*Tuesday*
Rosel had to go to her campus (she's taking the short-semester thingy); so we went to Depok to drop Rosel and to pick Bune altogether. Took some cute pics, as always. Heheh.
That night, Bune & I stayed over @ Pedhe's. We roasted some marshmallows, and watched Freaky Friday (been a long time since I watched those guilty-pleasure-fest teen flicks). Sounds like a decent, fun girls-night-in huh? Well, it would've been, if only Bune didn't fall asleep during the dvd-watching (kidding, Bun :p)
*Wednesday*
Nothing significant. Bune had to go home. So it was only me, stayed over @ Ped's again.
*Today*
Pedhe & I spent the afternoon trying to install the...what...USB thingy for her DV's. Then, supposedly we wanted to catch Spiderman 2 at the cinema, but we were, um, like, 5 minutes late. So we only had dinner at the Daily Bread.
*Random Notes
+Tomorrow there will be a li'l reunion for IPS1. *crossing fingers* hope it'll be fun.
+I found out tonight, that his number is on my cell's dialled list. How the hell did it get there?? Anyhow, don't really care.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
"..I can't take the time until the next time I see you smile"
Now that I got this blog neatly arranged, think I'll write some nice things here.
*saturday night*
Last night was Jaya's farewell @ Bangun's. Jaya really is going to Malaysia tomorrow, and not just for a holiday. He's going to study there :(
I thought last night was gonna be the usual stoned-fest with the usual crowd. It turned out there were more guys than usual. Ebonk was there, and Ocha (my long lost brother :P) was there, and there were some guys from high-school, Bangun's full-time-stoner friends, and..there was him.
Nothing significant though, but still, I was enjoying myself watching him doing...whatever he was doing. Talking animatedly with the guys (his laugh..? smile-inducing!), fiddling with Bangun's stuffed koala, playing guitar (although I wasn't close enough to hear what he was playing), and even when he was playing playstation where I can only watched his back. Comfortable, and as always, I didn't want the night to end.
However, thank God, thank Jaya, thank everyone who made him come to Bangun's and made it possible for me to come (thanks Ped ;p). Oyeah, this is sooo nothing, but I managed to get "ati2 ya" out of my mouth when I found out that he went home by himself. Shucks, how lame could I get?? But I always had a difficult time in producing a sound everytime he was around, so, being able to say something I really mean to say to him is definitely something for me (are you still following? xp)
*sunday*
Bangun, Jaya and Ebonk came by my house this noon and woke me & Pedhe from our slumber (Pedhe stayed over). We were actually doing nothing (well except for Jaya and his friendster), but it was nice having them around. Everyone needs their friends, right? Tomorrow the bunch and I are going to the airport with Jaya *sob*. Hoo-hoo, there goes another great friend…
*current song quote*
IRIS [goo goo dolls]
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll
ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd
understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
*saturday night*
Last night was Jaya's farewell @ Bangun's. Jaya really is going to Malaysia tomorrow, and not just for a holiday. He's going to study there :(
I thought last night was gonna be the usual stoned-fest with the usual crowd. It turned out there were more guys than usual. Ebonk was there, and Ocha (my long lost brother :P) was there, and there were some guys from high-school, Bangun's full-time-stoner friends, and..there was him.
Nothing significant though, but still, I was enjoying myself watching him doing...whatever he was doing. Talking animatedly with the guys (his laugh..? smile-inducing!), fiddling with Bangun's stuffed koala, playing guitar (although I wasn't close enough to hear what he was playing), and even when he was playing playstation where I can only watched his back. Comfortable, and as always, I didn't want the night to end.
However, thank God, thank Jaya, thank everyone who made him come to Bangun's and made it possible for me to come (thanks Ped ;p). Oyeah, this is sooo nothing, but I managed to get "ati2 ya" out of my mouth when I found out that he went home by himself. Shucks, how lame could I get?? But I always had a difficult time in producing a sound everytime he was around, so, being able to say something I really mean to say to him is definitely something for me (are you still following? xp)
*sunday*
Bangun, Jaya and Ebonk came by my house this noon and woke me & Pedhe from our slumber (Pedhe stayed over). We were actually doing nothing (well except for Jaya and his friendster), but it was nice having them around. Everyone needs their friends, right? Tomorrow the bunch and I are going to the airport with Jaya *sob*. Hoo-hoo, there goes another great friend…
*current song quote*
IRIS [goo goo dolls]
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll
ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd
understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Saturday, June 26, 2004
note for sindrow
droow, maap2 neh, bukannya gak menghargai. i guess i forgot to mention kalo gua mau nyoba benerin nih blog. jadinya bukannya gua gak menghargai komen baru yg lo kasih. tapi gua prefer yg lama, krn udah ada pesen2 kan didalemnya.
aaaand, guess what, gua nemu caranya biar comment system yg lama bisa nongol lagi. dan gua nemu caranya biar judul entry bisa nongol juga. gua ulang sluruh templatenya from scratch. ee-hee. dan skrg blog gua udah kurang lebih lengkap lah...
heheh, maap yah comment system barunya gua apus.
aaaand, guess what, gua nemu caranya biar comment system yg lama bisa nongol lagi. dan gua nemu caranya biar judul entry bisa nongol juga. gua ulang sluruh templatenya from scratch. ee-hee. dan skrg blog gua udah kurang lebih lengkap lah...
heheh, maap yah comment system barunya gua apus.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
is it here? is it visible?
Saw his car today @ PIM parking lot...Didn't see him, though. That's okay. But now he's whirling inside my head. Heheh, nothing bad though. *nyanyi dulu, ndro* "it's no good, i want you in my room all day instead in my mind".
Anywayys...I can't switch on my cell phone!!! Argh, it's frustrating! What can I say, I'm a 21st century metropolitan girl. I need my cellphone. Sure, mom'll have it repair by tomorrow and I know I still have the guarantee card--so it'll cost nothing (hopefully)..But still...It kinda freaks me out thinking about all my pictures, all the text messages, and what might happen to them.
One more thing, why can't I show my title here?? Where is it?? Sindrooo, mulai frustrasi gua benerin ni blog!! Gimana doooong?? Trus sama commentnya kok systemnya lagi down mulu. Kapan gak downnya dooonnnng?? Anyone who knows how to deal with the entry title and the comment system, please do leave a message. Oops, no you can't, bcos the comment system is down!! Well, if you know how, email me: runi_indrani@hotmail.com.
Anywayys...I can't switch on my cell phone!!! Argh, it's frustrating! What can I say, I'm a 21st century metropolitan girl. I need my cellphone. Sure, mom'll have it repair by tomorrow and I know I still have the guarantee card--so it'll cost nothing (hopefully)..But still...It kinda freaks me out thinking about all my pictures, all the text messages, and what might happen to them.
One more thing, why can't I show my title here?? Where is it?? Sindrooo, mulai frustrasi gua benerin ni blog!! Gimana doooong?? Trus sama commentnya kok systemnya lagi down mulu. Kapan gak downnya dooonnnng?? Anyone who knows how to deal with the entry title and the comment system, please do leave a message. Oops, no you can't, bcos the comment system is down!! Well, if you know how, email me: runi_indrani@hotmail.com.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Time to stop. Is it?
Stop thinking about him, Run. Stop getting all curious and finding out things about him & his girlfriend. Stop trying your ass off to have an accidental meeting with him. Sure, you’ll meet him sometime and you’ll go giddy; but that’s it. Stop dreaming the impossible. Stop waiting. Stop thinking that you have all the time in the world and it doesn’t matter if you wait for him forever. Because you don’t, okay? And it does matter. So just stop. Stop.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Confession of a selfish mind.
I want to feel happy and calm everyday. Knowing everything is in the right place. Knowing my friends are alright. Knowing that I have nothing to worry about.
Well, I can't, can I? I'm far away from that so-called utopia of my own, right? Right.
I want to complain like, a lot. But I know I'm being selfish. I'm not even sure if I deserve to complain.
It's just that, in this life, I feel like, for every 1-2 days of pure happiness, there are like 2-3 months of misery. And...I dunno.
Seriously, I lose the mood to write. See you all sometime, then.
Hahah.
Dear God, show me that rainbow, will you?
Well, I can't, can I? I'm far away from that so-called utopia of my own, right? Right.
I want to complain like, a lot. But I know I'm being selfish. I'm not even sure if I deserve to complain.
It's just that, in this life, I feel like, for every 1-2 days of pure happiness, there are like 2-3 months of misery. And...I dunno.
Seriously, I lose the mood to write. See you all sometime, then.
Hahah.
Dear God, show me that rainbow, will you?
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