it gets the better of me sometimes when you and i collide

Let's take a little walk back to the 90's music scene and raise your voice if you know this one.

SWAY
(Bic Runga)

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you

And here I go, losing my control
I'm practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infintely true

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go, like you do
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know all about you

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

It's all because of you
It's all because of you

----------

I feel like posting that song here, since I've heard it twice within the last 24 hours.

Updates about lately may come sometime later.

I hear the melodious beat somewhere
that I secretly hope you could hear,
and while you're standing there--oblivious,
I have butterflies coming out of my bellybutton one by one.

it's time i got back to the good life

I've always said that my prized possessions are my best friends and money. Now I have one more: my health. No one could ever know how much I'm grateful for it. Seriously.

What brought this on?

Thirty hours of high fever, plus another thirty-nine hours of...ahem, bowel problems, and the total of more or less three days being a tired, sluggish, helpless gag-prone. Oyeah, don't forget BORED from all the laying down and not being able to go out. I lost sleeps because I kept waking up from the illness; that led to me begging Andrei to get me some Prozac. I lost my appetite and at the same time I knew I had to eat in order to take medicine and get well. Yet, everytime I ate something, my tummy churned and seriously, the food wouldn't stay in that long. I knew I should've seen a doctor but for all I know that'd be a fate worse than death for me. I felt like dying ='(

Anyway. I've been feeling well for nine hours and it's a MAJOR progress. I finished my meal at dinner time, and the food stays in. I don't mind eating some more. So I really do hope it'll last *crossing fingers and hope to God*

How did I get better? I don't know, maybe God showed some mercy for me. That, or one of these things I did when getting better: listening to songs from Weezer's old albums in a row (this might be it), reading old journals (or this? hmm), or aksi ngambek sama Bune (no this can't be it).

Well, now I have my health *crossing fingers again and hope to God*, my holiday-mood is back! I really have to see more people. That's what holiday is all about, right? Ocha, check. Yoyok, check. Anybody else who's been hiding under a rock, come out, come out. We'll play.

By the by, boo hoo, Mr.Bora's leaving for somewhere in Europe tomorrow.

something ignites in my vein and i pray it never fades

Just a few days ago I was sulking for idontknowwhat, and then I went re-reading some old testimonials in order to feel better and companioned, only to question, where are these people now in the end.

Then, TADA! The afternoon after, Ocha called me and asked the "geng begundal" to get together with him. He's interning in some law firm in town. I easily agreed like usual, so did Ped, but Roz and Bune had their reasons as always. However, Ocha managed to talk Rozelle into it, so she was in.

Seeing Ocha was nice. I almost forgot how nice it was to spend a QT with him; it was comforting. I felt like we were all his little sisters (ahem, no pun intended) with him asking about our lives, giving advices and all. Hahah. Of course the low point of the night was his disappointed expression after seeing me smoking.

All in all, it was great catching up with him. Then, the next morning, I mean afternoon, I learned that Yoyok's here! Well, in Bandung actually. But still. And he's supposed to go back to Jakarta today...

Ahh! People seem to pop out of the thin air. It's like an answer to my question when I re-read the testimonials a few nights ago. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get to see more of them. Anyone. Again, even Bune would be nice.

Holiday butterflies are up.

it's the curse of being a girl, tonight you can hardly make a change

Taken from Ayu's

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Ask Rian, my classmate back in high school senior year. Actually it's gone now, but it's the only scar for which I could keep blaming Rian for about 3 years.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Pinkman, letters of the alphabet, what-supposed-to-be cannabis leaves that looks like Adidas old school logo, Purple Doraemon with green face reminding me to eat, a turtle, a guy with freakish crapping dog or some sort, a sabda from a cat head known as the Ratu Kucing... Painted by of me, my cousins, and my best friends.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Nokia 6600. All chipped off but I love it anyway.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
Wrist-slitting tunes? More painful the better. But besides that, I have a lot of guilty pleasures lurking behind my interest.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
11 pm. And the cool thing is, I was also born on the eleventh of November.

6.WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
To have about Rp.25.000.000,- grow on one of the trees in my front yard. So I can pay Bune to ditch her work, buy three round tickets to Singapore, buy four Coldplay tickets, meet Roz in Singapore, splurge a bit at the Singapore Great Sale, and have the long-awaited liburanbersamageng while watching Chris Martin and his bandmates belting out their magic.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Being a teenager. Please keep in mind that although I feel young, there is no "teen" in twentyone. And maybe soon, I'll miss having the word "student" on my Friendster's profile's occupation section.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
What can bring happiness. My best friends. And money.

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Food. Coffee. My room after my friends came and smoked in there. My perfumes.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Yes, sometimes.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Rarely.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Secret Fantasy by Anna Sui and Stella (Mc.Cartney).

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Yang biasa aja. Tousled is nice when it's not purposely so.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
Tiffany's? Just like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Cheese, assorted meats and sausages, and mushrooms. But cheese and mushroom would do.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I can't eat anything right now, I feel bloated. But otherwise, I'll have sushi or kambing guling.

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I can't remember.

20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
Yes.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
I can't quite remember. Either an over-sized tee or a teddy bear.

WAIT HANG ON A MINUTE WHAT HAPPENED TO 22-27?
How should I know. And seriously, I demand my 6 missing questions!

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
That would be stupid. But that's the whole point of falling in love, innit? Anyway, I'd like to say I wouldn't, but with me, stupidity happens all the time.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
I don't know. You tell me.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
99.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
On who? For guys I prefer brunette.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
My mom's.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Little things thought at night time.

33. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF [your country]?
Yeah, once. When I crap money, I'd definitely do it more and take my friends along with me.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
I let small things get through me.

37. FIRST JOB?
A part-time teacher. Wait, come to think of it, the first time I earned money was when I was wearing a short purple-red skirt and waving my pom-poms. Yeah, I was a cheerleader.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Hahah. Sure. One of the best things of being young and stupid.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Watching Rockstar Supernova.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A bit of lipo and breast implant. Hello, the new ANTM. Hahahah.

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
To practice answering questions for my magazine-interview-filled future. That, and I don't have anything to do.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Being me. How cocky is that?

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Buy a whole lot of them before they become illegal and keep a lifetime supply in a secret bunker.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A kiss from Guy Berryman.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
One or two. Three at the most.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My cousin.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No. I wish on everything.

48. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE FINGER?
Index finger. Not really, I don't know. I mean, on what base do you tell which your fave finger is?

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Really cry? A few weeks ago, when I decided--for a brief moment in time--not to graduate this year.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Sometimes.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Every meat.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Procastinating.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
All-4-One from back when I was still in 6th grade.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Definitely.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Yes.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Call someone. Or cry. But the best way is shopping.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
For this time being, I'm practically homeless, second-home-wise.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
No.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Um, the usual. Lego, Barbie, Play Doh...

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
A lot. And really, I don't mean anything bad by it.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
Define mosh pit. If it involves people violently banging their heads, crashing to one another, then no.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I don't know. I'll know it when I find it.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Runi, Mony, Rong, Rone.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Ben and Jerry's half-baked brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough.

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
Rainbow.

73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
What's a wisdom teeth?

74. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Some people I haven't seen in a while. Even Bune.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Everyone who? But yeah, that'd be nice.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Silences. I'm using mom's speaker-less PC.

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Trattoria's Creme Brulee.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Pedhe.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Could be anything.

80. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Jakarta.

81. SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
I don't know.

82. FAVORITE DRINK?
Cold ones.

83. FAVORITE JOKE?
I don't know. Sometimes jokes are seriously like disposable panties. Once you wear them, you should never see (or hear) them again.

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
Mall-hopping.

85. HAIR COLOR?
Black.

86. EYE COLOR?
Somewhere between black or really, really dark brown.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
Only when I stay in. And only at nights.

88. SIBLINGS?
An older sister and a younger step sister.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
November for the obvious reason.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Yes.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Rockstar Supernova.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
My birthday.

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Maybe. Not as much shy as tengsin though.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer. No winter around here.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Both?

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS
Ask again later.

97. WHO DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE?
Secretly? If I wrote it here, it wouldn't be a secret, huh?

98. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU MACKED IT WITH IN THE PAST YEAR?
What's "macked it with"?

99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Ped's Gossip Girl by Cecily von Ziegesar.

100. WHERE DO YOU WORK?
Serpong, this place called Chrysolit.