falling slowly. sing your melody. i'll sing along.

These are the things I've spent this entire day for:

- Unsuccesfully tried to write and doodle, and had the results of these half-baked amateur works.
- Demolished my Mt.Everest-like comic/book/mag/note-pile in mom's room.
- Took a shower with mom's scrub salts.
- Succesfully read the first 10 pages out of Lolita. Of course, the story begins from page 7.
- Finished the second disc of the first season of That 70s Show.
- Watched Ugly Betty.
- Painted my toenails pink. And now they look pretty, if I might add.

Phew. Big day.

it's nice not to be so alone, but i hold onto secrets in white houses

The butterflies I felt about 2 weeks ago are no longer here. "What was I thinking" had even crossed my mind.

So, what am I doing now? Two a.m. in the wee time, involved in another conversation with the same person I had a convo with two weeks ago. Listening to him unmercifully unload about everything, when I could've watched Ugly Betty rerun or even better, slept?

It's not a crush, and the butterflies aren't coming back. And no, I'm not in denial. In fact, I know exactly why I'm here.

Because I'm a sucker for this. Yes, I'm a sucker for people unloading to me. Listening to people's deepest secrets, fears, and hopes is somewhat... empowering. Dear lord, I'm a trash bin by choice...

i'd tell you sad stories about my childhood. i don't know why i trusted you, but i know that i could

Updates from this past few weeks.

I've left my job, on August 24th, to be exact. It wasn't as liberating as the time I quitted my teaching job. Tears and fears came pouring down. But hey, I think I'm moving on. In fact, I've moved on. It's not like I'm losing my friends there. I still got to see them, especially when I was paying the meals.

Case in point, last Friday, at my supposedly-farewell-dinner. I rounded up the PLUS* guys at Dimsum Festival Kemang. Seeing them turned out to be very, very exciting and overwhelming. Butterflies went wild and they didn't even stop for awhile to catch some air.

Anyway. I actually don't know if the butterflies were there for the little reunion, or for something else...

Moving on to the next subject.

Have you ever had one of those long talks, that stay all through the wee hours? I bet you have. But have you had one that makes you feel... comfortable and a bit giddy, maybe, at the same time? Like you could get lost in the convo right there, right then? And then the butterflies from it actually stay for a few days?!!

Like I've asked a few of my friends before, I'll ask again, what was that? If I feel like the mentioned above, does that necessarily mean, I have a crush on the convo-partner? Nuh, right? Well, whatever that was, my feelings are back to normal now. So, I think it was just some case of momentarily lapse for being an infatuation-prone, right? Rrrrigghht. Inputs are welcome, though.

Okie. I think that's it from moi. I've lost my mood to ramble some more.
See you soon!

seven years disappear below my feet

This is from having too much time in my hand.

7 YEARS AGO

1) How old were you?
* 15-16

2) Where did you go to school?
* SMA 70

3) Where did you work?
* Wherever people needed some pompoms to be waved.

4) Where did you live?
* Jakarta

5) Where did you hang out?
* Blok M Plaza kalo pulang sekolah. Dan mall-mall lainnya.

6) Did you wear glasses?
* I started wearing contacts this time around.

7) Who was your friend(s)?
* Bune, I think. And people from my class.

8) How many piercings did you have?
* None.

9) What car did you drive?
* Couldn't drive at all. hahah.

10) Had you been to a real party?
* Define real party.

12) Had your heart broken?
* Yah, namanya juga anak muda. Dikit-dikit brokenhearted.

13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
* Single

2 YEARS AGO.

1) How old were you?
* 20

2) Where did you go to school?
* English lit, UI

3) Where did you work?
* Chrysolit English Course

4) Where did you live?
* Jakarta

5) Where did you hang out?
* Kansas, and still, malls all around south jakarta

6) Did you wear glasses?
* Still wearing contact lenses

7) Who were your friends?
* Pedbunros, and I think by this time, I had softened up a bit towards people in my campus, and I found a whole new fship in people, especially Sinnilnan.

8) Who was your crush?
* I think this forgetful boy--or should I say Boi. Who was--according to my own words back then--"hard to like, but hard to hate".

9) How many tattoos did you have?
* None

10) How many piercings did you have?
* Six

11) What car did you drive?
* I don't think I could drive back then. But I remember taking sind's car for a few rounds around the campus.

12) Had your heart broken?
* Yaah, I don't know. But I think I learned some time then, that heartbroken is just a state of mind.

13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
* Single

NOW, 2007.

1) How old are you?
* 22

2) Where do you work?
* Actually, I just quitted my job at Tabloid Wanita Indonesia last week.

3) Where do you live?
* Jakarta

4) Do you wear glasses?
* Still on the lenses

5) Who are your friends?
* Pedbunros, thankfully Sinnilnan are still around. And few others whom I hope will stay around.

6) Do you talk to your old friends?
* Which old friends?

7) How many piercings do you have?
* Still 6

8) How many tattoos?
* Still none

9) What kind of car do you have?
* Honda City. Well, it's mom's actually. but I drive it now!

10) Has your heart been broken?
* I hope I'm way smarter now to ever feel brokenhearted anymore.

11) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?:
* Single. Ahuihuii.

12) Where did you go to school?
* What? "Did"? Didn't I mention that already?

13) Where did you hang out?
* Duh, where there are foods, drinks, my friends and a smoking area.