Saturday, February 25, 2006

we always said it's forever in this beautiful life

Yesterday's rapat geng was nice. We went to PIM2 and tried this new place called Cafe Cartel (which inevitably, constantly reminds me of a 90s gadget called Kartu Telepon). Once more, we were planning to catch a movie last night, but we lost track of time and ended up missing the movie. All night we just sat there, munching on calamaris and pizza, drowning ourselves in caffeine and convos (from unpleasant rumours and suspicions about Gibond to Rosel's something's psycho ex). By the way, Rosel's something--Arif--joined us. But it was better this time, I think we've grown past the memeras-otak-sampai-bengong-mikirin-mau-basa-basi-apa phase. He was very nice, and I think he passed our perploncoan-anggota-baru test with flying colours.

Anyway, since we missed the movie, we were thinking about karaoke-ing instead. But then Bune suddenly said that it was her mom's birthday so she couldn't get home too late. Okay, I admit it, I was upset, but hey what could I do about it? Deciding a date for another time of karaoke or movie was not easy. So I kept wondering--and actually dreading about--how could it become harder and harder to gather the girls together. I guess this whiny part of me will always be there to stay... But...

*ALERT: cheesy thanksgiving moment ahead*

See, for the last 1-2 weeks, I had dug a hole to the past and let myself get carried away with the bittersweet longing of all in the past known to be nostalgia. Started with reading a few high-school-related stories, listening (and singing) to old songs, allowing myself to mentally change my surroundings with things from--more or less--4 years ago (wooden desks and chairs, a fan above my head, blue Puma shoes on my feet, colorful binders, colorful scrap door, Tigger plush with extra hand-made stripes, and well, people). I could actually remember how things felt back then. When you couldn't feel anymore cooler wearing that high-school uniform (since you were definitely more mature than those ABG-ish anak-anak SMP, but you weren't as old and boring as those mbak-mbak college students). When the life-altering decision that you had to make was what to wear to the prom. When everyone was around, you saw them 6 days a week, they were as normal as a zit on your nose. When your friends were still in the same town; let it be close friends or the platonic ones.

To put cherry on top, yesterday @ Ped's, she, Bune and I watched the "VCD Batalyon". Hmmh. Surely and like always, changes could be felt; I could taste it like sugar and coffee in my mouth. People've changed from anak-kampung thin to flabby tummies and vice versa. The closest packs have grown further. Crushes change (or not?). Opinions towards people have changed (from love-sick drools to "ih, kayak anak kampung!" or from loathing Gibond to death to worrying sick about him). Even I've changed, in some ways. At some point, friends stopped being around. And I'm not talking about the platonic ones who were never really ever there at all, but close friends. I don't hang out with the same people, it constantly changes from time to time: Kacank, Angga and his Geng Infinite Sadness, Geng Angkuh and the whole Aksi bunch, Geng Pengajian, Geng Ngong and else. Paling berasa adalah kalo inget Ocha dan nasihat-nasihat sok bijaksananya. All I can think is--quoting from Graduation song--"I guess I thought that this would never end". Where is he now? Where are his advices when I need one? Where are all those people now? You get my point, don't you? I've done this wallowing-in-the-past so many times, it just becomes me.

But, there are some that stay. Drumroll please...For four years and counting, it's the girls. While others, smiles and tears, guys, parties and conflicts frequently come and go, the girls came to stay. What ironic is, four years ago, I'd put all three Bune, Pedhe and Rosel in the "come and go" box.

Girls, *here goes* I won't say any thanks or sorry here, because I really don't know what to say nor how to show you that I'm very grateful for you all. Really, no word can tell. I just want to hope that years and years from now, you three will still differentiate yourselves from everything else from the past, because you stay. Saaahh. Olive juice, girls.

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