well you can't get what you want, but you can get me

Let's talk about expensive stuff, shall we? Since I want so many things but my money seems to dissolve in the rain lately, why don't I just post them here. That way I can be reminded to save more money to buy them, and you can be reminded that my birthday is in a month. Just sayin'.

1. The Art of Tim Burton

The book contains artworks of Tim Burton--if you can't tell that already. With personal text contributions from Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Danny Elfman, Winona Ryder! It costs USD 69.99 for the standard edition, and USD 299.99 for the deluxe edition! Muy expensivo. But one can't put a price on one's holy bible, right?

2. Flash for Diana

It amazes me when people can take pictures without any flash. I can't. What's the point of having the oh-so-fun-and-so-easy-to-carry Mini Diana if I can only use it outdoor, on bright daylight? It's USD 60.58, but I think you can get it for IDR 500,000 here. Same difference, I know.

3. Lomo Spinner 360

This is like, the coolest of the uber cool in toy camera world. This camera takes panoramic picture to a whole new level by enabling you to capture 360 degree view! I don't know if they have it here, but you can always purchase it online for only USD 145.66!

4. Polaroid SX70 Original

I've always wanted an instant polaroid camera. But then they stopped producing the camera and the film altogether. You can still get the secondhand, warranty-less camera here for about IDR 400,000, but it'll be a pain in the ass trying to find the film. However, The Impossible Project decides to reproduce the camera and the film. And I want this one, the SX70, which costs USD 332. The compatible film will cost you USD 10 up to USD 44.

5. The Raveonettes and Flaming Lips live in Singapore


Okay, so I just found out about this from Twitter. The Raveonettes will visit Singapore, Jakarta and Hong Kong. So why did I choose the one in Singapore for this wishlist? Because Jakarta is the only city where The Raveonettes will perform without Flaming Lips. Uncool. Plus, the one in Singapore is on November 11th! My birthday (there goes the 2nd reminder in the post)! It would be so cool to turn 26 while watching The Raveonettes and Flaming Lips.


That's it for now. Looking back, three out of five are camera-related. And none of it is professional stuff. Oh well *shrug*

Happy shopping, fellows!

Okay, now to the fun, don't-deserve-to-be-in-the-same-post-below, post. My best friend got married yesterday! She's the first of the gang to get hitched. And I wish for no less than infinite happiness for her and the hubby. Because if anyone deserves a great, great, great love, then she's it. So, you might not read this blog, but,

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Rozelle and Yudho, have a superduper fantastic lifelong journey! *cheers*
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so you lost your trust and you never should have

Warning, readers! I'm going to rant a little, and most likely, it's not what you think it's about, so you might as well just skip this.


You! Sometimes I wonder if it's a mistake to have faith in you. More often than not, your words sound far-fetched for me. But I've always given you the benefit of the doubt. Unlike the words from the song, I never lost my trust when I really should have. But now it's getting tiresome, and I'm really mad at you, but I know I won't be able to say anything to your face--or these days, by phone. So I'm gonna keep quiet.

And questioning myself, is it a dumb mistake to have faith in you?

arrest this girl, her hitler hairdo is making me feel ill

If I can live under one roof with my Christian sister, and join the merriment of setting up a tiny Christmas tree for my nephew,

If my sister can still participate in the sungkeman part of Ied holiday,

If my once Christian, now Muslim cousins can contribute joy to their aunties' Christmas celebration

If my Christian best friends can wish me a merry Ied, and I can wish them a merry Christmas,

And if we can do all of those with ease and sincerity, then why can't some people? Why am I still reading about Islamic group stopping (even harassing) Christian congregation from holding their Sunday mass? Why am I still hearing rumors about some extreme Christian group that tries to provoke religious conflicts in Jakarta?

Doesn't it make you wonder, how stupid and how crooked can the police, the government and (most of) the people be to let a group of people get beaten up with sticks simply because they tried to pray to their God.

In case you didn't know yet, I am enraged by the news about the congregation of Batak Christian Protestant Church that were allegedly chased out of their Sunday mass. And don't get me started on how Ahmadiyah followers are treated like pariahs. Those followers include children, one of which got bullied and had rocks thrown at him by his friends just because he is an Ahmadiyah follower.

For weeks, or months now, I've been asking myself, what can I do about it. I really don't know, but I really wish I do.


What can you do about it?

let them know you realize that life goes fast

Have you ever been forgotten? A friend forgot to text and ask you to go on a group get-together, just because he lost count of the people in the group. Or a mom forgot to ask what kind of cookies you wanted, while she already baked walnut cookies--your sister's favorite.

Or on a slightly more serious note, a friend forgot to maintain your friendship that eventually led to friends drifting apart. And you ask yourself, why should you be the one that call first, give hangout invitation first, text first, ask 'how you doing' first. Then somewhere, you finally gave up and drifted apart.

Yes, I think I've been forgotten on a level like the above-mentioned cases. Sometimes it pissed me off, sometimes I just went on a idontreallycare mode and moved on.

But then, last Sunday, I went to see my one and only almost-89-year old grandma. She was checked in to a hospital, because there was a slight problem with her heart--which my mom said was normal considering her age. Aside from muscle pain, she was pretty okay. She talked, and laughed, and reminisced the old days.

But she couldn't tell who I was. And it took her a while to put two and two together. She confused me for my sister, for my sister's child, for my mom's grandchild, before she finally settled with "Prie's daughter". And I don't think she called me by my name that night.

And then I couldn't help but thinking, why didn't I call before, why didn't I visit more often, why didn't I ask how she was doing before. Why wasn't I be the one that maintain the relationship after all? Because if I had kept in touch better, then maybe she would remember me. She would remember me like she remembered her youth, or like the nice times she used to spend hanging out with my late grandma.

At that moment, I just fully appreciated the times when I came over to her house and she would greet me by calling my name and said "most beloved granddaughter" in Dutch. Yep, pardon the cliche but, penyesalan selalu datang belakangan kan? And all I can do now is do this keeping-in-touch thing better than before.

So. The moral of the story is--if there's any--life's too short to drift apart. Maybe it's time you take up on those offers to grab coffee, or a movie, or just to hang out, with your friends, or boytoys, or Dads.





On a note that is probably wrong on some level, I wonder if my gram remembers my younger step sister better than she remembers me...

i'm the goodness in the bad

This post comes from some random wondering.

I was reminiscing about the good old days, when I realized that I was evil. E. Vil. I didn't say hi if I didn't feel like it. I would snap and scream at my friends, and bite their heads off if I felt like it. I would make sarcastic remarks even when I knew it was uncalled for and it would be harsh enough to hurt some feelings. I did think I was the queen of the world who should be able to get away with everything.

But, then as I get older, I become, well, nicer. Haha, yes, I said that. I do think I'm nicer. But sometimes, just sometimes, when I see a feisty person, can't help but miss the intense cruelty that used to be in me.

Which leads me to this random wondering, if I lose the evil-me... By evil-me, I mean the one that makes fun of people's fashion (or personality) faux pas, that makes racist jokes (even about my own race), that gossips about people, that is so cynical sometimes she wouldn't give anyone any benefit of the doubt.

If I lose it all, would anyone miss it?

i don't know what i can save you from

Well, hello blog, hello readers (you guys still there, right?). Let's talk about where my moolah went lately.

Well, the 1st one actually didn't cost a thing. But sometime around the end of March, there was the 1st Indonesia Hot Air Balloon Festival in Sentul. I know, right? Dream come true. And in my head were sun-kissed photographic images of balloons, kites, kids running around, picnics, people laying on the green lush grass. Yeah. In reality, there was no green lush grass, no picnics... There were balloons, and the long line of angry and dissatisfied mob. The management was bad, many people couldn't get on the balloons. Can't say I wasn't disappointed for not being able to get close to the balloons. So, sun-kissed images? Poof. The balloons were still pretty though.

No picnic on the green grass

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Next day, there was the King of Convenience concert. Fell in love with them during their previous visit to Indonesia, I decided to break the piggy bank and go. Turned out, KoC weren't alone. The gig was opened by this new local band called the Hollywood Nobody--if I'm not mistaken. Maybe I was just jaded, but yeah, I wasn't impressed. At best, I think they're going to be just another stack of CDs on Aksara's shelves. And the lead vocal's shameless plug of her wardrobe and make-up. Puh-leez. It wasn't the red carpet.

Next there was White Shoes and the Couples Company. One of the bands that we--Indonesians--can be proud of (hello, Minty Fresh Record, that's uber cool). Frankly, I never really listened to their music, but it was entertaining (although my music critic of a boyfriend would beg to differ). But. Entertaining or not, it felt too long and I was getting really antsy waiting for KoC.

Then there was Jens Lekman. An artist that--it seems like--every cool hipster in town has to know. But I never listened to his music before the gig. Yes, it's because I'm that uncool. Mr. Lekman was good, he was quirky and talkative. And he had me (and Nandia, I believe) at doing-the-airplane-gesture.

And finally. KoC. They showed up, still as adorable as when I first saw them in 2006. But, Eirik was sick. And they ended up performing for about 1 hour only. What the. They didn't perform Know How and I was disappointed. There was one cool point of the night though, when Erlend Oye sang WSTCC's Bersandar. Cute.

Mr. Erlend and Mr. Eirik

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Three days after, there was the Imogen Heap concert. To be honest, I never really listened to her either. Yes again, I am that uncool. I was only familiar with Good Night and Go which annoyed me big time, and Hide and Seek (and I couldn't see what the big deal was with that song). Turned out, Imogen Heap was the thing that did not disappoint this year (after The Killers, Alice, Balloons, and KoC). The stage was supercool, the effects, her music, the opening acts. Tsk. I can't believe I never listened to her before.

Blurry Imogen Heap (silently points to Nandia, the photog)

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Fast forward to recently. Last Thursday, to be exact, I went to see the Disney on Ice show! Another thing that did not disappoint! I've always loved Disney on Ice. And this time the theme was Disneyland Adventure. So pretty much I was getting a mini, make-believe simulation of the happiest place on earth. During the opening number I was so happy and excited I wanted to cry. Hahaha. High points were Alice, Pirates of the Carribean and Disney's Haunted Mansion (or was it Haunted House?). I wasn't crazy about The Incredibles and Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch).

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Yeah there you go. My entertainment for lately. I was planning to write some more about me, but even I don't feel like it right now. Soooo. Until next time.

why is a raven like a writing desk?

After waiting for more than a year, it's finally here. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Naturally, I immediately watched it the 1st weekend after it opened. Because of this and that, I watched it twice, two days in a row. First in 3D, and then in the usual 2D.

I'm having mixed feelings on the movie, but I'm so not in the mood to write a decently-composed review. So, I'm gonna do pros and cons.

WARNING: The pro-con list might CONTAIN SPOILERS

Here goes.

Pros
1. The cool visuals, especially in 3D. When Alice first entered the Wonderland, the creatures, the colors, and the fireflies! Beautiful. Of course there's the dependable Burton's haunting swirls on the trees.

2. Burton's version of the characters. Ultra cool make-up (Red Queen, Mad Hatter), and fluorescently cool CGI (Hookah-smoking Caterpillar, Chesire Cat). The Nigella Lawson-inspired White Queen. And Alan Rickman as the Caterpillar! The Chesire Cat is charming too.

3. Mad Hatter. This character needs a special mention. He's the life of every tea party in all of us. Burton's Hatter is also mad, but in a darker, schizo way. People say that there are better days for Johnny Depp, but I actually like him as the Mad Hatter because there's a sad, lonely, Edward Scissorhands quality to it. I definitely like Depp as Hatter better than as Willy Wonka (not crazy about it).

4. No unnecessary romancing. I know the now-grown-up Alice shows a sparkly chemistry with the Hatter in this movie. But I praise the lord so much I sing gospel, for not making the two characters kiss, or show any obvious romancing. Because it would be beyond lame. And I would sue.

Cons
1. The CGI. I did say it's cool. However, I miss the vintage Burton. I want to see the Wonderland done in real life set. I don't care if it looks unreal, it'd still be more original, yet fairytale-esque than CGI. I do admit the magic of CGI is pretty sophisticated, but it's boriiiiing.

2. The plot. So this new Alice movie takes place 13 years after the original Alice. While I appreciate the effort to expand the story, but, come on. Never try to improve on perfection. True, the new one is more understandable and less quirky. But if I want to see something understandable, I'll go watch Shrek. Just like my friend Sisie said, "Why would i wanna watch Alice and felt that i was watching Narnia?"

3. This is Tim Burton we're talking about. Then how come I didn't feel enough haunting quality watching his Alice? The score and the cinematography were too epic, too Hollywood summer movies for me. Especially when Alice was about to slay the Jabberwocky.

4. The scene where Mad Hatter do the futterwacking dance. Totally jump the shark plus nuke the fridge for me. Overdone. The unnecessary effect, trying-to-be-funny music. Earlier in the movie, when the March Hare shows a bit of what futterwacking is all about, I thought it must be cool when Hatter does the jig. Not so.

5. The soundtrack at the end of the movie. Godawful. Come on! We're talking about Alice. And Tim Burton! Haunting, quirky music is needed. Not Avril Lavigne's angsty voice blaring from the speakers.

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So all in all, I feel like Tim Burton is compromising by being more current. For a movie, I'd say Alice in Wonderland is good and entertaining. For an Alice and Tim Burton movie, it's disappointing. Of course that's just me. I better go now, because

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!"

I have always liked the butterflies that constantly flutter around outside my office. They are the prettiest (if not the only) sight for sore eyes here. But my mom always said, "di mana banyak kupu-kupu, di situ banyak ulet."

I have found four so far. And I can only shudder imagining how many there are that my eyes missed.


Here's the little guy that proves that beautiful creatures can come from an icky, wiggly, yellow lumps.

now the sky could be blue, i don't mind, without you it's a waste of time

So today, I decided to open the shade of the window right in front of my desk, here at my office. I decided to live brighter. Since it's a narrow window, the only thing I see is 40x40 blue skies, a green mush of tree top on the bottom right corner, and a chihuahua-like cloud on the top right corner of the square.

Oh. Wait, the chihuahua is floating to the center. Oh wait, to the left. Yep, the chihuahua is running, because it's being chased by a flea-like cloud! Oh. Now the clouds are gone...



But hey! There's you, on Miss Earheart's plane waving at me. Oh, now there's you! On a hot-air balloon dancing away (or swatting away) with the magpies. And there's the rest of you guys, floating around with umbrellas Miss Poppins-style!

Oh! Now the butterflies are knocking on the window, inviting me to join the fun! I gotta run!


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My name is Runi and yes, I'm one of those cubicle rats who daydream about the world outside. This is the 1st of my 12-step program. Blogging about it.

a moment, a love, a dream aloud, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs

A bit late to go over this, but I went to Singapore around 2 weeks ago. I thought I could start the great 2010 by seeing one of my favorite bands playing live right before my eyes, but turned out, The Killers ain't feeling my vibe. They canceled the gig. Sure, the promotor promised refunds and the band promised to reschedule. Yeah sure. Like I can pull plane tickets and hotel out of my ear anytime.

Anyway, since plane tickets had been bought and hotel had been paid for, Pedhe, Bangun and I went anyway. We totally pulled off the cliche epitome of tourists. Do things that I don't think locals want to do. We went up to see the whole town from the Singapore Flyer, went sightseeing on land AND water with the expensive/tacky/cool Duck Tour, and went wild...life, that is, on a Night Safari trip. Shopped a little between this and that. Well, you know, a getaway always feels nice.

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On to lately. New lives are in the horizon for some friends. Some are facing (hopefully good) separations, some are facing (hopefully great) matrimonies. Which brings me to,

One of my dearest, best, besties is getting married! Just like Hector, the first of the gang! Feeling very excited, and well, a bit surreal.

Thanks to her plan, the gang was reunited last Saturday at my place. We spent a few hours catching up. Not too long, because that's what you get when you grow up--a timed friendship. However, it was still endearing. I missed the feeling so much.

Anyway, the rest of us were blasting this friend of mine with questions about wedding and stuff. At some point, Ped and I were giddily browsing through a throng of bridesmaid dresses on the web.

And man, have we grown up or what.

We've traded choosing prom dresses for bridesmaid dresses. Surreal. I feel happy, excited, and a slight pang. Will we ever count points for yellow cars again? Will we ever squeeze ourselves into a little booth and take pictures again--ones that perhaps will last longer than habits. Will we ever count down for the new years and awkwardly hug it out afterward?



But other than that, I've found the fabulous design for my dress. Yayy!

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The nitbits of lately would involve:

- Me, being able to say, "I'm with the band". Seriously. My musically-gifted friends, Ingga, Bangun, Ebonk and Bapet are forming a band. We... well, THEY, have practiced twice so far. Heheh. Me? Ped and I are looking closely for any crack to squeeze ourselves in. I want to sing and keyboarding--but I think the guys ain't feeling my vibe. So for now, I'm the self-proclaimed photographer of the band. Tee-hee.

- I wrote something a while ago, lyrics, if you may. And a dear friend of mine has composed a cool song out of it. I really want to post the song and the name of my friend, but she's shy (yeaaah, right).

- Working on doodles to illustrate a friend's work. Really excited, but very uninspired. I've been browsing through some illustrators' websites these few days for inspiration. But maaan, I feel small. I still have a lot of learning to do! And while I really, really want to spend hours and hours sketching and erasing and crumpling papers til I get it right, I can't afford to do so. Mwew.

- I finally bought a TLR camera I had always wanted. Secondhand, from Sophan. Still haven't got the hang of it, though. But, yeah, again, excited!

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I wrote many "excited" in the post, but somehow I feel bottled up. I better go and open the shade of my window,

Toodles,
-R.

i'll stop the world and melt with you, you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

Time for 2009 year in review!

- Got into a quarrel with someone significant. It was prolly my lowest low of 2009. But then things were patched up, and we're still learning to make it work. It's all about making it work.

- Several Kota Toea trips in 2009. Let's recap. First one was when Ima was in town. Took pictures, rode old bikes, and wasted money on the pretentious Kafe Batavia. Second one was the night tour with Gem, Imel and Achel. Visited old buildings and had some late afternoon tea on the rooftop of Bank Mandiri museum, overlooking the giant-jukebox-like Stasiun Kota. Third one was the bike tour. This one was held during a hot, sunny day, but it was less tiring because we were on bikes. And the last one was the rijstaffel thing. Dinner and watching fireworks from the rooftop. Super nice.

- Concerts of 2009: Jason Mraz at the Java Jazz Festival. Good, but pretty forgettable. And I still can't say that I've found a soft spot for Java Jazz. Then there was Coldplay in Hongkong. This one was one of the highest highs of 2009! Beautiful, beautiful night! Next was Jamiroquai at Sentul...something. Pretty good, but still so-so. Last ones were Mew and Third Eye Blind at the Javarockinland Festival. Mew was mesmerizing. Stephen Jenkins was kinda idiotic, but he had me at "I'm packed and I'm holding" so I was smitten.

- Nilam gave birth to the mischievous-looking Eijaz!

- Organizing a welcome-back, mustache-themed hoopla for Sindro!

- JW Marriott and Ritz Carlton bombings in July. Very uncalled for. One of the lows of 2009. I had to give up my long weekend to work 8 days straight! Juggling journalists, policemen, and one evil boss.

- The Department of Foreign Affairs recruitment. I flunked the 1st test. But Imel passed all tests! Hooray! I'm so going to make her save a spot for me there! Hahaha.

- The Kampung Utan clan tradition of pesta liburan on the 3rd day of lebaran.

- Cooking and baking and concocting a Monas picnic for Gem's birthday. Fun!

- Turning 25. What the...

- Reuni geng komplit. Twice. For 5-45 minutes at people's weddings.

- I need one more reconfirmation, but according to one doctor, I am cured from that... lung-infecting disease. Yay!

- Watched Teater Sastra UI performed Macbeth at Taman Ismail Marzuki. One of the longest 4 hours in my life. Thank god, meeting some people made it worth the while.

- Watched the oriental circus at Margonda! Happy pills in the middle of the week.

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Overall, 2009 was full with ups and downs. I had some highlights but can't help feeling like I haven't done enough. Howeverrrrr. I did have the best closure for 2009 and a good start for 2010.

I spent last week backpacking to this beach in West Java called Ujung Genteng, then off to Jogjakarta. To be honest, I also brought a quite large travel bag aside from my backpack. But still.

There were obstacles, like people cancelling on us and trying to get a permission from mom. But eventually, on Tuesday, Gema and I ditched this tired town and off we went.

We took a bus to Sukabumi from Lebak Bulus, but we got off in Cibadak, because supposedly it was easier to get a bus to Surade. See, Surade is the closest thing you get to civilization around Ujung Genteng. The bus to Surade showed up about an hour after we got to Cibadak. But it was lunch time anyway, so we knew what to do to kill time. The bus to Surade was AC-less, and jampacked. We had to sit on a cushion, on the floor. Yep. Just cushion. On the floor. For four hours. Fortunately, I still had some energy and excitement to get me through the ride. The rollercoaster-like ride, if I might add.

When we got to Surade, it was already late in the afternoon, and the minibus to Ujung Genteng was nowhere to be found. Soooo, ojek was our chariot to get to Ujung Genteng. I never thought I'd say this, but turned out, traveling more or less 20 km on a motorcycle with the wind and subtle drizzle on your face, with no dust and no exhaust from metro minis, plus the promise of a beach not far ahead, felt really liberating.

We finally got to the hotel, Pondok Hexa, and checked in to the cheapest room we could get. It was Rp 200,000/night, peak season. To tell you the truth, it was crappy. No blankets, there was only one light in the room--which was dimmer than a candle, I think, no trash can, and the bathroom was... meh. But I had expected the worst and I was pretty gutsy then, so it was the Bahamas Hilton for me.

A little tip, don't eat at the hotel's restaurant. We spent Rp 60,000 on too-sweet fried rice, fried noodle and very weird-tasting calamari dish. From that moment on, we chose to eat at some warung across the street from the hotel. It cost us Rp 13,000-22,000 for tasty homecooked meals.

There were many offers from the local guides-slash-tukang ojek to go to the near tourist spots. But since we were on a budget, and there was no ATM around, we had to carefully picked our destinations.

Confused from figuring out how to spend our money, we took a walk on the beach. And man, a very long walk it was! The beach was very serene and the water was very clean. You can see small fish swimming below the surface! Prettyyy.



Later that day, after my constant nagging, Gem and I almost agreed to watch a turtle laying an egg that night. You see there was a turtle park not far from my hotel. But then, our plan changed when we learned that aside from watching turtles laying eggs, we could also release turtle babies to the ocean that afternoon. So we opted for the latter.

And maaan, are turtle babies cute or what. I've grown attached to my turtle baby during the 3 minutes I held it--and the name is Kuri, by the way.



The next day, already we should pack up to hit the road once more. But first we made a quick stop at the Cikaso waterfalls. That was my 1st time seeing actual waterfalls, so I was totally in awe. It was like a vast wonder! Now waterfalls enthusiasts kinda make sense for me.



To get to the waterfalls, we needed to take a 5-min boat ride through this wide river with nothing but trees and highlands around it. Again, serene and very relaxing. And there were butterflies! They practically fluttering around everywhere. Very, very nice.

Afterwards, it was back on the road again. Motorbikes, busses... Sucky schedules and timing, sucky busses and ugly traffic made us go to Bogor-Jakarta-Magelang, and everything in between before we finally reached Jogjakarta the next day. My uncle and his family were there, so they took us in their hotel rooms. Yay, free accommodation!

However, our time in Jogja was very limited. So we had dinner at this warung oseng-oseng mercon (good food on a budget). And afterwards, we went sightseeing around on a becak and finally settled on the Vredenberg fortress. Too bad it was closed already. Luckily, there was this Jogja Biannale thing. So we got to see some art installation here and there. There were also street shows! God, I love the atmosphere.

On the last day, we only had time to go to this silver shop with the nicest shopkeepers. And. Thanks to Gema's Jogja-based friends, Ahmad and his girlfriend, we got to see the Prambanan temple! Beautiful and again, a real wonder. Seeing the temples, thinking about the myth behind it and imagining its haydays were magical.



Anyways. Time to go home. This time, we booked a travel minibus, thinking the driver would deliver us back to my home. Not so. There were a problem with the car, and we had to take more bus rides.

What I conclude from the holiday is, after 5 days--including more or less 36 hours on the road, 7 bus rides, 2 distant ojek rides, and 2 minibus rides, my mood was still much, much better than after my daily 45-min comfortable car ride home from the office. Go figure.

As for the last minutes of 2009, I spent it on a bus to Jogja, half asleep.

*20 minutes to midnight*
Me: Is it new year yet?
Gem: In 20 minutes.
*Back to sleep*

*10 minutes to midnight*
Me: Is it new year yet?
Gem: In 10 minutes.
*Back to sleep*

Finally,
Me, awake once more: Is it new year yet?
Gem, looked at the time: It's 12.10, happy new year.
Me: Happy new year.
*And we went back to sleep*

...

But still. Couldn't be happier =)

Here's to the fabulous 2010 to come! *cheers*

maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours

New blog template! Mwew!

Look forward to a change of the picture and wallpaper.

On to my life. The kinds of entertainment I've had lately:

- Macbeth at Taman Ismail Marzuki. Should I be honest or be nice? Can't do both. Let's just say, the highlight was meeting some friends and old faces from college days.

- Twilight saga marathon. It's so bad it's funny.

- 100 Kata book launching. Won myself two 100 Kata mugs. Yay!

- And... Circus! I watched the Oriental Circus in Depok last night! And while it wasn't some fancy schmancy cirque du soleil, it was the best happy pill ever! I was really amused by the animals and acrobats and things. Will post pictures if they come out right.

Mkay, I really can't compose a decent writing right now. So,


See you later! Smooches.

both under influence, we had divine scent

Good morning.

I'm 25 now. Well, I have been so for a week now. 25 doesn't have a fun ring to it, does it? Like this is it, *put on scary voice* Welcome to the crappy world of money management hassles, of early bedtime, of stiff bones and muscles, of secretly envying the 19-21 years old.

But at least, it's not 40.

No hoopla this year. Kinda short on cash. But I had a nice joint-celebration dinner with Imel (and her good news to celebrate), Nandia and Nilam. And Eijaz plus Mbak Bar too. Seriously, you can never have too much of girl-talk moments. It's therapeutic. Let's have more of those, girls.

Another highlight of turning 25 is, Gem's gift. He gave me an old fairytale book! Printed in 1985. Just when I discovered my infatuation for old children books. Speaking of which, I found the Me Too Iguana book out of the Sweet Pickles Series at the book fair a few weeks ago. Treasure alert. I used to read the book when I was in elementary school. And you know me, and nostalgic feeling.

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Aaand. Feeling a little bummed, full of expectation and kinda anxious. To make story short, I thought yesterday would be the last time I visited the hospital to have my neck groped. Not so. Took the USG thingy this morning. And... let's just wait for the result. Everybody, please do pray =S I'm tired of going to that cold, sterile-yet-virus-prone place.

-----

Aand... Speechless. Anybody up for some poems? Or some sort?

A shorty:

dancing on a trampoline
magpies have got to fold
substituting caffeine
stories waiting to be told

And something that I co-wrote with the talented Ms. Sindro:

kerlip

adalah pendar tutur lagumu
yang kuikuti diam-diam
seperti kepik merah totol hitam
berhinggapan dari bunga melati
kuning labu dan matahari

adalah pendar tutur dongengmu
yang kukagumi diam-diam
seperti kunang-kunang kemerlip
mengedip genit memberi asa
pada malam berdegup resah

lihat, berkilauan air danau
tersiram bulan waktu malam
menari-nari gemintangan
mengikuti lagumu yang terdengar
jauh, jauh sampai hatiku berdebar

adalah itu dan semuanya
menggelembungi kau dan aku
terduduk manis terlibat embun pagi
kembali menanti kepik merah totol hitam
berhinggapan pada bunga melati

Enjoy! And remember, make today good. Make today legendary. Or like Barney from How I Met Your Mother always says, make today legend--wait for it--DARY!

Toodles,
-R.

you can plan a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather

Okay, guilty as charged. I've been abandoning the blog. But it's only because I find it difficult to compose words these days. Wonder why.

Anyway. Quick recap.

Department of Foreign Affairs admission test? Flunked it.

In between then and now there was Lebaran, and the oh-so-short holiday my office gave me. But it was still fun. Spending QT with my family, my cousins staying over, my outta-town-for-college cousins coming home... And one would think that my family couldn't get any less traditional on Lebaran in the past. Well, this year we kinda outdid ourselves.

No visit to any relative. No visit to predecessors' graves. I did visit the mall, though. Let's see, 1st day, shopped for jeans and had a Ben and Jerry's galore at Grand Indonesia. 2nd day, shopped for foods and drinks, then went to Grand Indonesia again to tag along with Om Ato, Tante Rika and their Von-Trapp-like kids on their anniversary at Duck King, and had drinks at the pricey and pretentious place that had the prettiest view of Bunderan HI, Social House. Told you, the only thing that was somehow traditional was the lontong. And gulai.

3rd day, after two years, my cousins and I threw our (supposedly) routine Pesta Liburan, which basically is a garden party with snacks and drinks concocted by yours truly and two others, served in the festively-decorated gazebo. Fun!

-----

Then there was Rijstaffel--one of the many events of Jakarta's old city. Where we sat and dined in a way the Dutch used to do it... when they were taking over our country. Anyway. It was still fun, but a bit too crowded. The quickie highlight might have been watching the fireworks from Museum Bank Mandiri rooftop. Niceee.

-----

Next, there was me. Cooking. Hahah. Gema's birthday was last week. And not having any idea for gifts and any time to buy it, I cooked. Well, maybe not cook. I concoct things. But I did managed to make Sindro's picnic roll, Nigella's baked macaroni, Nigella's altered marinated chicken and cheese cake. And then I made a kind-of-suprise picnic at the Monas park. Tee hee.

It was a little nerve-racking that day, because it was raining continuously from early in the morning. However, the rain stopped, just few minutes before we got to Monas. Good thing is, it made the air cool. And I never knew Monas park could be that serene. All in all it was nice.

-----

Been trying to write some more. Even if it's as short as a single tweet. I have a plan--a dream, depends on how soon it will be realized--with Sindro to do compilation of poems. Or some sort. Amen.

-----

Just got back from a pempek break. Now I'm super full and can't think. I guess that's it for now. A little reminder, my birthday is in 13 days. Time to go gift-shopping, people!


Toodles,
-R.

...when i'm with you i feel like i could die and that would be alright

Boo hoo. My Twitter is suspended (I hope temporarily). And I had been so hooked up on it, I've been like this --> =| ever since. So, since I can't write several irrelevant sentences in several tweets, back to blogger.com it is.

I just had a supernice weekend. It started on Saturday, the day of Sindro's welcome hoopla. I started the day quite early--though I still arrived late, by picking Sindro's up and meeting Bhumi for the first time. Bhumi is a real-life flubber. Aaa aum! I have the urge to take a bite out of those cheeks.

Anyway. Sind and I went to the campus to meet Imel, Nandia, Nissa, Sophan and Yasmin. We had a picnic at one of the mozaic spots near the lake. Not so much a picnic as it was a sit-around-drinking-boxed/bottled-drinks.

After a while, we headed to Loca! for the hoopla. The guests turned out to be less than I expected, but that's okay (is it, Sind?). By the by, boo you who did not come (Ayu, Ovi, Nilam, Andrei) and double boo you who could not even be contacted (ahem, Monikk).

There were the anak-anak Inggris, Sind's Al-Izhar friends, Nisaa Belanda and Gema. We all had to wear fake moustaches that Sind made. Coolness. After some snacks and drinks and games (big, big, massive thank you Nandia & Imel to come up with the games), off we went to Nav Karaoke at D'best, naturally. Then the last destination was Nasi Uduk Mang Dikun (?) at Fatmawati.

It was always fun hanging out with them, and I hope I've lived up to my Project Officer title that Sind appointed me with =D

Moving on to Sunday, there was the Java Rockin' Land festival at Ancol. I had my heart set for Mew and Third Eye Blind. Mew was cool, but I only knew like 1/3 out of the playlist. So. But the visuals on their backdrop were awesome though. And of course, the reason why I like Mew in the first place, Comforting Sound. Beautiful. Pity they didn't perform She Came Home For Christmas and Symmetry. I like the songs, especially the first one.

Then after about an hour, along came Third Eye Blind. My oh my. My love for them had just been rekindled. I must say, they were more my thing than Mew, since I used to play and rewind the first sides of two of their cassettes over and over until the sound was nothing more than a hum. Yes, they performed the charmed Semi Charmed Life, How's It Going To Be, Never Let You Go, Graduate, Jumper... What else? Some new songs, some old songs that I didn't recognize (must be on the side of the cassette that I fastforwarded), and The Jackson Five's I Want You Back. Uber coolness. Boo for not performing 10 Days Late, Deep Inside of You, 1000 Julys, and I Want You. But what do you expect from a one-hour-fifteen time slot. Stephen Jenkins was still the love of the youth inside of me--as old and chubby as he became.

Cherry on top, near the end of their performance, there were fireworks shooting above our heads and confettis being catapulted all over the audience. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. That was also the first time I watched a concert with Gema, so it was nice.

A good trip back to 90s, indeed. Speaking of the era, I also caught The Flowers' performance. Unfamiliar? The Flowers was 90s rock band with their hit Tolong Bu Dokter contributed to the local alternative scene back in the days. Hahahaa. Although I was only familiar with one of their songs, it was still cool watching them. Old hasbeens rocking the stage after 10 years of absence.

To sum up, thumbs up for the event. Thank you whoever that was who suggested, "hey, let's bring in Third Eye Blind". I hope the next Java Rockin' Land will be even better with even cooler performers.



Now I'm back at the office, and I'm more depressed than ever. I've had enough of policemen giving statements, I've had enough of health NGOs, I've had enough of any pricing regulation, I've had enough of anything political, I've had enough of newspapers, I've had enough of the sight and the sound of my boss. I've had enough of this place.

...blech.


Grateful & depressed,
-R.

i believe in the sand beneath my toes
the beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling
i believe in the faith that grows
and the four right chords can make me cry...

here i am with all the pleasures of the first world laid out before me who am i to breakdown?

Okay, so after some mental pushing and shoving, I'm going to write some updates. Thing is, as I get older, I am reluctant to write good things that I hope for, because I don't want to jinx it. And writing bad things is so 2003. Anyway. I'll give it a try!

So, there were more bombings in Jakarta on 17 July. About 9 people died, and godknowshowmany others were injured. The Manchester United cancelled their visit to the town because of it. Blue Bird Taxi would not take any call to public places. As for me? I lost my long weekend. My saturday, my sunday and my national-holiday monday! So my boss had this brilliant idea to open a media crisis center near the ground zero, and I had to work 8 days straight (the previous 5 regular workdays not included). It might sound interesting to be involved in the issue. But not really. I still haven't seen the ground zero until this second. And I'm still coughing cats and dogs right now.

Anyway. That was an ugly memory. I have to get the hell out of this place. Which leads to me applying to this... department, having to compete with thousands others... (I'm not being too subtle, am I?). Yeah, anyway, I'm crossing fingers like I do to other things. So, let's pray together people.

Anyhoo. My highlights of the week include Sindro's coming home. As a matter of fact, I think she's on the plane as I write this. I'm planning a get-together to welcome her on Saturday. So, something to look forward to.

Another thing to look forward to. Java Rocking Land on Sunday. Third Eye Blind are scheduled to perform, and OMG! OMG! OMG! *fangirlsqueal* I'm going to meet Mr.Jenkins! Hooray!

Aside from the above, what's been filling my days lately is Kisah Hidup Paman Gober. Or known as the original title, Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. It's.. It's.. It's brilliant! As you can tell from the title, it tells stories about Paman Gober's adventures when he was younger. In the 2nd book, he visits Indonesia! To provide cows for the "karapan sapi" at "Madoeras". Coolness or what?

Well, anyway, that's life lately. And oh yeah, begundals were reunited last Sunday. Uber coolness of silver lining or what?

Toodles!

...would do most anything to get you back by my side.

I'm a bit obsessed with memorabilias.

I have the urge to keep movie stubs. Godawful keychain an old crush gave, a pebble from the hajj simulation back in high school, a stolen toilet paper roll, an apology coupon, a pencil I used for SPMB, notes, journals, text messages, pictures, perfume bottles (yes, I keep scents too).

The list could go on and on. And I know they're more like well, junk. But, people are bound to forget, so unless someone creates a time machine or a time tv (Oh how this world would be a better place with Doraemon around), those stuff are great to remind you that the past do exist.

And just this morning I was reminded about another, um, memento--if you will, from the yesteryears. Lunchies Blog!!! See, Lunchies was one of my genggongs back on the early years of college. It was better than reading my own journals, because there are like, 8 PoVs there. Shout out to Sindro, Nilam (better known as "Unie" back then =D), Nissa, Nandia, Ima, Imel, Pani!

It was funny to see how young we all were. Arguing about friendship, who was "replaced" by who (that's me by Imel apparently--in terms of who was closer to Sind. Really? Like OMG, totally =D). Unloading about crushes, kolor ijo myth (or should I say the the myth?), ditching classes for cyber cafes...

And there was this time when everyone seemed to be having problems of their own. What problems could we possibly have? We got our youth, and more importantly we got each other for almost everyday!

*Sigh* I love stumbling over reminiscing materials. However, the thing with memorabilias is, you can only go so far.

So to sum up this post, I just want to say to "Lunchies", contrary to how I used to act around them, I heart you guys. Can't wait to see you at some lunch time.

missjudged your limits
pushed you too far
took you for granted
i thought you needed me more
now i...
[the cure]

you gotta be stronger than the stories

What? There hasn't been any post in 2009? And it's April already. Tsk tsk, shame on me. Okay. So what I'm going to do is write a brief-but-long-overdue review on 2008, aaaand... well, things I want to talk about in 2009. Here goes!

Highs and lows in 2008
1. Taman Safari trip with 2A kids. That was fun.
2. Incubus concert. It was short, but Mr. Boyd was still fuckalicious.
3. Dreading about Sindro's leaving town.
4. Plan to publish a book. With Surils.
5. Batu Karas with Bangun, Ebonk, Pedhe. Had the best 'shrooms delusion ever.
6. First kiss at the wee hours beneath the city lights.
7. Papua trip
8. Bloodspot in my eye, that made me go geeky with that goggle I call glasses for about a week.
9. The long awaited ajakan kabur. Which I refused.
10. Got promoted. Nice paycheck, not so nice tasks.
11. Kalimantan trip. Which includes first time chopper ride.
12. Diagnosed with lung-infecting disease. Which leads to me:
13. Smoking no more.
14. And home-officed (is there an actual term for working from home?) for about 2 months. Yaaay. Those good times...
15. Penggambar Mimpi. All printed out and published! Independently. But still. Something to tell my grandkids someday.
16. One and (I think) only bgundal meeting at Bune's.
17. 24th birthday. A nice dinner with my family and Gema, and a half-baked karaoke session a few days later.
18. Nilam and Memmy (separately) getting hitched.
19. Second Batu Karas trip of the year.
20. New year's eve.


There you go. 2008. Like a wine expert, I'll say that it's a good year. Then came 2009. And here are the highlights:

1. Got very excited and made about 80 paper storks and a hula skirt for a CANCELLED baby shower. Yes, I'm still bitter about it. I don't care. Because I want to make "stop caring" as my belated 2009 resolution. Anyone can have the hula skirt, but I'm going to keep these storks as if they're my own babies. I wrote this point as the first one in the list because I think it's an achievement. Yes I do. Yes it is.

2. Ditched work for a day to go with Imel, Nandia, Pani, Nissa, Ima and Sophan to Kota Tua. It was fuuuuun. We picked up Andrei later on, went to Gadis' office to see Nilam and Tisam, and visited Kansas to do a little reminiscing.

3. Be a concert whore for the last two months. First, Jason Mraz at the Java Jazz Festival. Third, Jamiroquai at Sentul. And in between, there was the oh-so-perfect Coldplay concert, which I watched. LIVE. IN HONG. KONG. As a result, I've gotten myself two first-times for 2009 already. Watch Coldplay and go to Hongkong.

4. Nilam's having a healthy and (people said) very cute baby boy. Congratulation, darling. All my best wishes for you and Eijaz. Really.

Okay, so that's 2009 so far. I'm planning to make my very own Bucket List. I'll make the long term one--where "go to the hot-air balloon festival in France" will go. And the short-term one, to put all the things I want to do before 2009 ends. So far, I've only had the confidence to put "go to Jogja" in it, and "make/buy a pinhole camera". I do hope the list will get longer, and I will have bigger guts to do everything in it. Because I really, really want to be a Yes Man--but maybe not Jim Carrey extreme.

To sum up, a note for myself.

Stop caring so much about the nitbits and just

LIVE.


Yoi! How you doing?

don't you think we should've learned somehow

I know what John meant.

This is not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.


I think, dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room.