stupid, happy and numb

Here it is...Fifth semester. So far so good, and I hope it'll stay that way. Here's a bit recap;

Let's talk about academic stuff, shall we? Because of one thing and another, I can't take Spanish this term. There goes my excitement for this semester out of the window. However I take French. Despite the hard-to-pronounce words and me keep forgetting what means what, I think it'll be a fun class. I haven't learned much yet. So far it's still about bonjour, commentallez-vous, and vous appelez-vous?. Yea, wait for more mind-boggling french words here, people. I also take Romantic and Gothic Lit class this term. It's an interesting class, but it's kinda ahead of my year. So I'm afraid I'll be like, the stupid donkey in this class. Yknow, the one who don't have anything to say bcos I haven't figured out just yet what this class is all about. Enough about classes, considering I can't find another exciting one to tell.

About life, lately

On monday I saw this guy I know. And for the next few hours, I kept thinking about him. Not that I like him or something. I just did. Ugh, I don't know, I can't explain it now bcos I cant even remember what I felt. Hahahah, sooo stupid. And for a while, I was afraid of the possibility of me liking this guy. Well, yea, there's always that possibility with me and any guy. I mean, no more liking the guy that I don't wanna like. I don't want any more "lupakan dong, itu kesalahan. knapa gua bisa suka dia dulu??" to my friends, and some sort. However, I don't need to worry about that anymore. I saw that guy again today, and I was like...what the hell was I thinking?? And no zsa zsa zsu whatsoever (not that I had zsa zsa zsu when I saw him on monday), no nothing. Okay, Run, no more coffee on the 1st day of school and right before seeing some familiar face (I'm a sucker for familiarity).

Moving on. Just when I thought I couldn't hate my campus more...Now it's overloaded with people. The number of freshmen is beyond massive. When they said "sea of people" I think they had my campus on their mind. Empty table in the caf is almost impossible, people are everywhere, standing in the way & crowding every space they can find, holy bananas, it SUCKS! So, on the lunchbreak today, Nandia had enough and asked us to go to another cafetaria with her. When I asked which one, she said Teknik. As always, there I was, torn between 'to go or 'not to'. But this time I didn't have any time to hesitate bcos Nandia, Imel and Tisam were already walking to Nand's car; so I followed them, still with no mind made up. Before I knew it, we already parked on FT's parking lot. Owkay, what do I have to lose, besides being in a place that I never feel comfy at, right?

Whoa, turned out, that caf was just as crowded as mine. We were lucky we found an empty table in the center section of the caf. We usually chose the back one, near the lake, but the tables were all taken. There I was, glancing to every direction, barely concentrating on what my friends were saying. But I didn't see him. That is, until Imel was back from the musholla and I had to slide slightly on my seat so that Imel could sit. That's when I glanced forward, and there he was. A nice, familiar face among the sea of irritating-looking strangers. He was metres away, but I could see him clearly. I couldn't get close to talk to him bcos his table was the one on the back. I had no reason to go there unless I was running some fashion show where I could walk back and forth without any clear point in doing so. That's okay tho...because as unusual as it was for me, I actually feel...content. It felt comfy this afternoon, gazing at him from that distance without any evil butterflies telling me nasty paranoia-inducing stuff. I'm glad :)

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you but I don't know how"
[oasis]