Last night, I had a dream. In this dream, I dreamed that he--Mr.Namal--wanted to cut my feet or legs (I'm not sure, pokoknya "kaki") off and take them with him. Weird.
What do you need my feet/legs for, huh?
Say, I'll give you my feet/legs, if you give me your head first.
Ooh, creepy *gothic mode: ON*
Friday, August 26, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
So Hard To Think
The so-called Batalyon Reunion went pretty good. More people than the usual get-together. My hectic hours paid off. Details later, maybe.
Funny how time can practically stop at one point, and fly by so fast like there's no tomorrow at another.
"It's so hard to think, It ends sometime
And this could be the last
I should really hear you sing again "
[The Cure]
Friday, August 12, 2005
So long, long days.
Today is *finally* the last day of my short semester. I'll be back studying english lit on the 29th this month, sooo...Hello, 2 weeks hols? Not really, next week I'll be inevitably pulling my teeth out and stressing over the administration thing. Mading's deadline next week, and oh yeah, I still have to act like I care about Festbud.
Actually, come to think of it, that's ok. Yeah, come to think of it, I can't wait for time to pass by. The sooner tomorrow comes, the better. Bune will be home the day after tomorrow. That's a good thing. And, maybe going back to my hectic campus won't be so bad. I know by then I'll be pulling (this time it's my) hair out and stressing over my piling homework; but, eh, at least I'll have something to do. And when I stay longer in campus, I'll see some faces--those familiar strangers--rather than just vacant spaces.
So, it's been nice, but hey, it's almost time to pack up, mr.Holiday.
Actually, come to think of it, that's ok. Yeah, come to think of it, I can't wait for time to pass by. The sooner tomorrow comes, the better. Bune will be home the day after tomorrow. That's a good thing. And, maybe going back to my hectic campus won't be so bad. I know by then I'll be pulling (this time it's my) hair out and stressing over my piling homework; but, eh, at least I'll have something to do. And when I stay longer in campus, I'll see some faces--those familiar strangers--rather than just vacant spaces.
So, it's been nice, but hey, it's almost time to pack up, mr.Holiday.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
1 in 2, and growing
Yesterday, I spent 2 hours watching every infotainment on every local channel. I don't normally do this, but lately I've been following the news about Tamara Blezynski and her nearly-crumbling marriage. I know I am so pembantu-slash-ibu rumah tangga for getting so carried away in this local celebrity gossip. But I'm just curious, when you have a spouse as beautiful as Tamara or as scrumptiously handsome as her husband--Rafli, what kind of problem that is too big to be solved that can make you decide to give up on your marriage? I mean, the beauty isn't only skin deep here. I don't know those guys but from what I've seen, they're good people, they cherish their family so much, and they have a strong faith towards their religion. Plus, they say they still love each other, so what could possibly be the problem here? It's not a third-person case either. I mean, you should've seen it yourself, you'll know what I mean. I'm just curious here.
With this kind of issue around, am I wrong to have less and less faith in a big mumbo-jumbo called marital institution?
With this kind of issue around, am I wrong to have less and less faith in a big mumbo-jumbo called marital institution?
Saturday, August 06, 2005
I tried to kill the time, but it has nine lives.
This is how jobless I am these days. I once posted this entry not too long ago [feb 7th], and *tada* here I am, posting it again. Okie, here goes.
Step 1: Open your Winamp or other MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 25 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 4: Wait for complaints about the esoteric nature of your mp3s.
1. Saybia - The Day After Tomorrow
Simple, sad, a bit nyenye. It's one of my personal favorite though. Once there was a time when the lyrics couldn't be more true.
2. Marcy Playground - Comin' Up From Behind
One of those keren songs. And one of those songs that make me assume the frontman is sexy without having to see his face.
3. Badly Drawn Boy - Silent Sigh
An all-time favorite. Whenever I hear it again after a long time, it always reminds me of my senior year. And that's not a bad thing. "Come see what we all talk about/People moving to the moon/Stop baby don't go stop here/Never stop living here"
4. Shawn Mullins - Lullaby
A bit country-ish. With the artist telling a story instead of singing it. But it's nice. And sometime, stupidly, it can be my assurance that everything's gonna be alright.
5. Unwritten Law - Seeing Red
Mediocre, a bit unknown rock band? Wait, what happens here? Is my playlist swarmed with songs from my senior year? Think so. I give it a "so-so" rate. "Now it's time to make a choice/And all I wanna hear is your voice."
6. Evan & Jaron - The Distance
Eeek, yes, they're the guys who sang for Dawson's Creek soundtrack. A little corny, but sweet. "I can't take the time until the next time I see you smile."
7. Goo Goo Dolls - Slide
Also an all-time favorite. One of those catchy rock songs. And it has the sweetest lyrics ever! "I wanna wake up where you are/I won't say anything at all" and "What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful." Aww, isn't it?
8. Maroon 5 - Must Get Out
One of the nice songs from those dandy guys. "This city's made us crazy and we must get out." Yes, indeed.
9. Slank - Jakarta Pagi Ini
One of a few touching songs from Slank. It has a calming tunes, but depressing lyrics. "Aku di sini/Oh sepi/Tempatku bukan di sini/Jakarta pagi ini" Yeah, right on!
10. Damien Rice - Lonelily
Beautiful tunes, soothing. I still haven't figured out what it's about though.
11. Duncan Sheik - Wishful Thinking
Another all-timer. I like the lyrics. Hit too close. "Will it ever be anything more than wishful thinking"
12. Hometown Heroes - Eighteen
Another senior year song. Another so-so, but still...
13. Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful
It's beautifully killing. The tunes, the lyrics...Kill, kill, kill!
14. Eve 6 - Here's To The Night
I used to think this song was a, well, cheap song. Not anymore. It's sad. "Don't let me let you go" *sob*
15. Ant & Dec - Falling
Ahahahah, I know. But I like those guys. And I particularly like this song, although it screams "corny" from every angle.
16. Victor Malloy - Boys Don't Cry
Yes, it's The Cure cover. But unlike the original version, this one isn't upbeat. In fact, it's so mellow, it'd be a bit hard not to cry.
17. Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine
After Strange and Beautiful, finally this guy gets his share of happiness. Simple but very, very sweet words! "Give me your hand and you will see/Your heart is keeping time with me"
18. Turin Brakes - Painkiller
Nice. Nothing significant, though.
19. David Gray - This Year's Love
Sweet lyrics, killing tunes. Good for those cold nights.
20. Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby
Happy-go-lucky, retro, typical Beach Boys. But really, it can make you stop worrying about something. "Don't worry, baby/Everything will turn out alright"
21. Modest Mouse - Float On
Another calming and yet, keren song.
22. John Mayer - Gone
N*Sync cover. Supposed to be cool, but it's like, 95% of John babbling, and the singing is only 5%. Someone has to stop his mouth one day. Talking of which, have you seen him lately? His hair grows longer. Not good. Pity, he used to look so good.
23. Feist - Inside And Out
An old Beegees' song. I like Feist' voice better though. This is my current I-can't-stop-singing-it song.
24. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words
Ah ini baru aib! But I like it, it's one happy song. Besides, it reminds me of the time when I realized I was still capable of liking someone else other than...someone.
25. Alpha - Sometime Later
Sad. Sad. Sad. If I'm not mistaken, this is the soundtrack of My Life Without Me that I watched a few days ago. Don't know what it's about, point is, it's hidup segan mati tak mau kind of song.
Step 1: Open your Winamp or other MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 25 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 4: Wait for complaints about the esoteric nature of your mp3s.
1. Saybia - The Day After Tomorrow
Simple, sad, a bit nyenye. It's one of my personal favorite though. Once there was a time when the lyrics couldn't be more true.
2. Marcy Playground - Comin' Up From Behind
One of those keren songs. And one of those songs that make me assume the frontman is sexy without having to see his face.
3. Badly Drawn Boy - Silent Sigh
An all-time favorite. Whenever I hear it again after a long time, it always reminds me of my senior year. And that's not a bad thing. "Come see what we all talk about/People moving to the moon/Stop baby don't go stop here/Never stop living here"
4. Shawn Mullins - Lullaby
A bit country-ish. With the artist telling a story instead of singing it. But it's nice. And sometime, stupidly, it can be my assurance that everything's gonna be alright.
5. Unwritten Law - Seeing Red
Mediocre, a bit unknown rock band? Wait, what happens here? Is my playlist swarmed with songs from my senior year? Think so. I give it a "so-so" rate. "Now it's time to make a choice/And all I wanna hear is your voice."
6. Evan & Jaron - The Distance
Eeek, yes, they're the guys who sang for Dawson's Creek soundtrack. A little corny, but sweet. "I can't take the time until the next time I see you smile."
7. Goo Goo Dolls - Slide
Also an all-time favorite. One of those catchy rock songs. And it has the sweetest lyrics ever! "I wanna wake up where you are/I won't say anything at all" and "What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful." Aww, isn't it?
8. Maroon 5 - Must Get Out
One of the nice songs from those dandy guys. "This city's made us crazy and we must get out." Yes, indeed.
9. Slank - Jakarta Pagi Ini
One of a few touching songs from Slank. It has a calming tunes, but depressing lyrics. "Aku di sini/Oh sepi/Tempatku bukan di sini/Jakarta pagi ini" Yeah, right on!
10. Damien Rice - Lonelily
Beautiful tunes, soothing. I still haven't figured out what it's about though.
11. Duncan Sheik - Wishful Thinking
Another all-timer. I like the lyrics. Hit too close. "Will it ever be anything more than wishful thinking"
12. Hometown Heroes - Eighteen
Another senior year song. Another so-so, but still...
13. Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful
It's beautifully killing. The tunes, the lyrics...Kill, kill, kill!
14. Eve 6 - Here's To The Night
I used to think this song was a, well, cheap song. Not anymore. It's sad. "Don't let me let you go" *sob*
15. Ant & Dec - Falling
Ahahahah, I know. But I like those guys. And I particularly like this song, although it screams "corny" from every angle.
16. Victor Malloy - Boys Don't Cry
Yes, it's The Cure cover. But unlike the original version, this one isn't upbeat. In fact, it's so mellow, it'd be a bit hard not to cry.
17. Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine
After Strange and Beautiful, finally this guy gets his share of happiness. Simple but very, very sweet words! "Give me your hand and you will see/Your heart is keeping time with me"
18. Turin Brakes - Painkiller
Nice. Nothing significant, though.
19. David Gray - This Year's Love
Sweet lyrics, killing tunes. Good for those cold nights.
20. Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby
Happy-go-lucky, retro, typical Beach Boys. But really, it can make you stop worrying about something. "Don't worry, baby/Everything will turn out alright"
21. Modest Mouse - Float On
Another calming and yet, keren song.
22. John Mayer - Gone
N*Sync cover. Supposed to be cool, but it's like, 95% of John babbling, and the singing is only 5%. Someone has to stop his mouth one day. Talking of which, have you seen him lately? His hair grows longer. Not good. Pity, he used to look so good.
23. Feist - Inside And Out
An old Beegees' song. I like Feist' voice better though. This is my current I-can't-stop-singing-it song.
24. Natasha Bedingfield - These Words
Ah ini baru aib! But I like it, it's one happy song. Besides, it reminds me of the time when I realized I was still capable of liking someone else other than...someone.
25. Alpha - Sometime Later
Sad. Sad. Sad. If I'm not mistaken, this is the soundtrack of My Life Without Me that I watched a few days ago. Don't know what it's about, point is, it's hidup segan mati tak mau kind of song.
Monday, August 01, 2005
I'm no expert in art, but I know I love Shan Michael Evan's. I hope he doesn't mind me putting one of his artwork and link here. I think this one is called, Confusion is a sad thing.
Ma Vie Sans Moi
I just watched this movie called My Life Without Me. Seriously, that is the saddest movie ever! A truly tearjerker. It tells a story about a woman who conceals her terminal illness to make the most of her dying days. This is embarassing, but there I was, crying my eyes out like a housewife who cries during those hallmark movies. Actually the movie is beautiful for those who like drama. Plus, I love Mark Ruffalo and of course Scott Speedman is always good to look at. However, trust me, when the sun is hiding behind the gray clouds and you're home alone without anything to do, I don't recommend this movie; especially if you're looking for something entertaining.
Anyway, after watching it, I came across this one question. No it's not the pitiful question of "Would anyone miss me when I die?", but,
Would anything change? By "change" here, I meant something big. Not just my-room-would-be-vacant-without-me kind of change. Yeah, would anything change? Would anyone change? Like, would mom keep on staying in this house although it'd be too big for just a few people. Or would Nilam stay all day long at kansas without me to accompany her idle afternoon when her boyf is out gambling. And if I could know about my death beforehand, what would I do? What would I say to people? You know, death is one scary thing to face but it's an interesting issue to wonder about. It'd be so interesting to be able to look down on your life when you're not in it, huh? Not that I'm asking for it. I was going to write down the Things to do before I die list, but see, I already missed The Simpsons today and Picture Perfect is coming up on TV in about 15 minutes. I don't want to miss anymore good show on TV.
Hahah, listen to me, one couch potato slash TV addict. I hope I'm not dying soon.
Anyway, after watching it, I came across this one question. No it's not the pitiful question of "Would anyone miss me when I die?", but,
What my life would be without me?
Would anything change? By "change" here, I meant something big. Not just my-room-would-be-vacant-without-me kind of change. Yeah, would anything change? Would anyone change? Like, would mom keep on staying in this house although it'd be too big for just a few people. Or would Nilam stay all day long at kansas without me to accompany her idle afternoon when her boyf is out gambling. And if I could know about my death beforehand, what would I do? What would I say to people? You know, death is one scary thing to face but it's an interesting issue to wonder about. It'd be so interesting to be able to look down on your life when you're not in it, huh? Not that I'm asking for it. I was going to write down the Things to do before I die list, but see, I already missed The Simpsons today and Picture Perfect is coming up on TV in about 15 minutes. I don't want to miss anymore good show on TV.
Hahah, listen to me, one couch potato slash TV addict. I hope I'm not dying soon.
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