that movie kiss

Today, I rediscovered Her Space Holiday's song, Tech Romance. Sindro introduced me to the song back in college days. While it is a sad song, and my sad days are over, the second part of the song is actually sweet (if you cut it short on all the right places). Here goes.

"You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about
Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings

We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of everyone
Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this"

And here is the complete (and sad) version of the song:

i'm sure you've been misled before, how ones you trusted slammed the door

There was once a little girl who didn't know what a father was. Because she spent her early days learning about her mother, her sister, her grandmother, her grandfather, her uncles, her aunties, but she didn't know what a father was.

Then she grew a bit older, and she learned what a father was when hers visited her. She kind of liked this man that was her father. He was nice, he showered her with love and affection, and he taught her a thing or two about life--such as, how to clip her nails clean, how she should appreciate her napping time because when she got older she wouldn't get much napping time... And how family meetings were unimportant, it's not about the quantity, it's the quality. A father was a blast, for the whole 3-4 hours a month when she was with him.

Then the girl grew into twice as big and twice as old as she was before. 3-4 hours a month was now 3-4 hours in six months or so. She learned why the father didn't come into her life on time. She learned that he should have been on time. She learned that not all fathers were heroes to look up to like what she had learned from movies.

Now the girl was a little bit more mature. She was ready to let go of her selfish resentment over the father. Because these days, she had to learn that people changed--for the better, she had hoped. That the father had his second chance with another family. That all she could do was wish that the father would do better this time around. But then she learned that the father hadn't exactly changed. It was a little mistake, not as big as the one in the past, but it broke her heart. Because she discovered that her father still couldn't be the one to look up to.

Now all the girl can do is hope that she can love someone that loves her as much, that hearts won't get broken, and that trusts won't be taken for granted. Now she goes around loathing any kind of infidelity. She can't see why anyone would do something that can hurt the loved ones. So, if you have a straying heart and you see this girl, don't blame her if she has no respect for you.

get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute

So this is the story that I said I'd save for another time on my last post.

I'm quitting my job. I've submitted my resignation letter last week. I've signed the working contract at the new place, also last week. I'm not going to write the details here. Instead, I'm going to list things that I will actually miss from my current office:

1. Free, home-cooked lunch
Although the menu starts to repeat itself after few days and it can get really boring, free lunch is actually helpful when I'm short on dough.

2. Wednesday morning aerobic
Let's face it, without a trainer to whip me off my ass and make me exercise, I'm an invertebrate. And I can't afford a personal trainer. So yes, I will miss the Wednesday morning aerobic and yoga. I surely will miss my so-called deep pink yoga mat, which is actually pieces of foam puzzle mat put into one.

3. Working with Pak Ignas
He's this laid back VIP who--surprisingly for me--is very nice to work with.

4. Nap time during office hours
So this isn't exactly recommended, but it isn't frowned upon in my office, as long as I can manage to wake up and pretend to type and be busy in a snap when I hear my boss's footsteps.

Aaaand... that's about it. I guess.

and amidst all the to and fro, someone can say hello, here we go

So last week I had a trip back to Luwuk again, but this time I stopped by Makassar before heading back to Jakarta. This is my first time in Makassar, and I think it was pleasant. On some spots, it felt like Jakarta. And God knows I can live anywhere that feels like Jakarta :D I need lights, noises, and crowds. I stayed at the Pantai Gapura Hotel, which I think was nice, but Laila thinks it's Putri Duyung Cottage circa 80s (which is kinda true, too). Ate a whole Kerapu by myself at this place called Kayangan, and it was good. Ate grilled Konro at this place called Karebosi and was disappointed. Took a walk around Fort Rotterdam, and you know how I have soft spots for old buildings--and this one is well-taken care of.

Another thing that was new on the trip was this time I had to accompany Mr. Ignas Kleden. I used to think that he was just a colleague of my boss, but then again I'm ignorant like that. Turns out, he's pretty much a big deal. I thought he'd be this old stuck-up academician, but he was far from it. He was laid back, undoubtedly smart and open-minded, and funny. He reads poems, he speaks Latin and Germany, he plays church organ, and he had his fair share of seeing the world! Sounds like I'm having a crush, huh? Well I am, I want to be his daughter!

With Pak Ignas Kleden in front of Fort Rotterdam

I should've had around 6 more trips with Mr. Kleden, but it turns out, looks like I only have room for one more. Maybe working with him will be one of the few things I'm gonna miss from my job. ...Gasp, right? But that's another story for another time.

Another highlight from my trip with Mr. Kleden was he introduced me to the wonderful world of poetry by Rabindranath Tagore (I know, I know, where have I been. Please don't be a snob and yawn). So to wrap up my brief post, I'm going to quote several lines that have already become my favorite from Mr. Tagore,

"It is a game of giving and withholding, revealing and screening again; some smiles and some little shyness, and some sweet useless struggles.

This love between you and me is simple as a song."

if you're fond of sand dunes and salty air

You know what good life is? For me, this is the good life:

I was supposed to do my work this time around. But. The internet contains too many distractions! Then I remember about the heaven where there was no internet, and no work. Just endless blue skies and blue ocean.

Dear God, can I call dibs on the good life, blue skies and blue ocean?





This is not drunk blogging. This is depressed blogging.

you're going to reap just what you sow

I've done this before, and I'm going to do it again. This post is a rant-fest, so if you're not into the whole preachy biyotch thing, just skip this. This actually doesn't concern me, it's about someone I know. But I still have to let this out. Since I can never say this to his/her face, so here it is.

Dear you,
So some girl had come and somewhat ruined your family, do you really have to go out and somewhat ruin someone else's family? And don't ever, ever give me the "what you don't know won't hurt you" crap. Because if you really love someone, you won't ever do things that can hurt him/her, even though he/she will never find out. And I really think, even if the family doesn't know, you're still ruining a family. Do you want to be labeled as a homewrecker, when I know you used to hate (at least) one of those?

Remember, you're going to reap just what you sow. I hope you know better.

we should all be alive! exist all in love, in life!

Gah. I skipped February. Why is it so hard to blog these days? Okay, here's my obligatory April post.

Island Hopping
Lately I've been hopping from one island to another. It started in late January, when my boss found out that I was no longer weak from any illness and asked me to go to Luwuk with her. Luwuk? I heard you ask. Luwuk is this little coastal town in Central Sulawesi with the clear and calm sea, bright blue skies, and coconut trees here and there.. It was a nice trip, because the job wasn't too time-consuming, and mostly because Luwuk is beautiful! I didn't get around much, but I did go to the traditional market in a village nearby, and it was clean. By clean I mean gak becek--even at the fish & meat section. And there was this guy selling medicinal plants, going non-stop on the microphone "Ya Ibu-Ibu, yang teteknya suka sakit daun blabla ini hanya tinggal direbus dan diusapkan saja ya. Kalau ini untuk yang suaminya burungnya lemes..." I can tell from the housewives surrounding him, that selling medicinal plants was one lucrative business there. Entertaining.

Luwuk, Central Sulawesi

Another highlight of Luwuk was, this restaurant called "Bukit Inspirasi". I know right. But it was a nice restaurant up the hill where you can see the whole town (and sea) from above. I went there for dinner, so I couldn't really see the sea, but I did get a beautiful view of city lights :) The dish? They serve seafood dishes, and they were all delicious, I'm tellin' ya. I guess when you eat seafood in a coastal town, you're bound to get the freshest.

But that was 2 months ago, and I can't be bothered to remember the other details.

Then in early February, my boss took me along on another trip to remote areas in Kalimantan. In order to reach these places, the best way was to go by chopper from Balikpapan. So I flew there, and stayed for a night at Grand Senyiur Hotel. Fancy old hotel. Little did I know that I was heading to shady hotels with tiny bathrooms. The next day, I went on a chopper ride to Muara Tuhup. The ride was fun if it wasn't for the head-wrenching tight earmuffs.

Muara Teweh dock

Tempat orang pacaran dan mas-mas berenang di Puruk Cahu

From Muara Tuhup then off to Muara Teweh on a speedboat along the... Barito (I think) river. I got to see an eagle or two flew by. You can't get this in Jakarta. I stayed for 3 days or so in Teweh and then off again to Puruk Cahu by boat again. No details necessary. Because both towns were nyeh. However, I did get to see the rain from hundreds of meters above the ground. And I think it's cool.

rain from above

Then I went home. All geared up for some a quickie vacay! Yay!

Mid-March, along with Nandia, Ovi, Dini and Yos, I went to Bali. Yesssh. Bali. Some love it, some hate it, some think it's overrated. Me? I think I can always find something nice about Bali. Itinerary included Antonio Blanco museum, Padang Padang beach, Kecak dance in Uluwatu, Dolphins in Lovina, Beratan Lake in Bedugul, Tegal Wangi beach, Rock Bar, and Karma Kandara. Man, it was jam-packed three days, but it was fantastic.

Beratan lake, Bedugul

Quick comments on the places:

- Antonio Blanco: I have a new found respect for the artist, because he was so cheeky on erotic subjects.
- Padang Padang: Beautiful and serene (meaning no big, scary waves). Guess who swam in their underwear for the first time?

Padang Padang

- Kecak dance in Uluwatu: Watching a dance show AND the sun setting in one venue? Priceless.
- Lovina: Dolphins and sunrise. Enough said.

Sunrise at Lovina Beach, waiting for the dolphins

- Rock Bar: Expensive place where the doorman let those who look like power get in first. But yeah, the scenery and ambiance totally made up for it.
- Karma Kandara: Puji Tuhaaaan. They should put this place in the dictionary, under "Beautiful". Karma Kandara is actually the name of the resort (I think), and I don't know what the beach is called. Hm. Anyway. If you don't stay at the resort, you have to pay IDR 250,000 to get an access to the beach. So we did pay. Call me anything you want, it was totally worth it. Pretty. And again, I can't be bothered with the details. Go google it. But please don't go there and bring the trash (literally and figuratively). We don't want another Kuta, do we?

A little view of Karma Kandara

In short, it was a much needed vaycay. I also got to see the gigantic Supermoon setting, right before the sun was about to rise. Noice times three.

Last and least, I recently went to Palu, Central Sulawesi and then to Luwuk again. I don't wanna talk about it. Aside from the views, I ain't feeling the trip. So. Moving on.

3rd Kisseversary
Mr. Pirate and I have been going out for three years! And counting! Yaaay! The ride has been and will be stormy, but it'll be quite an adventure :)

Weddings
Two of my best friends are getting married soon. Well, not soon enough, but soon. Judging from the preparation stories, preparing a wedding is no picnic in the park. Well I think it should be. I've had the talk, several times. And while it's not my time yet, let's just hope that when the time has come, it will be a picnic in the park. With butterflies.




Okay. Turns out I'm too tired from all the Island Hopping section, I can't think of anything else to write. Soooo, until later!

*And Robert Smith sang "until later doesn't always come".

Toodles,
-R.

first they came

"First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak out for me."

-German Pastor Martin Niemoller, 1946.

cause i'm writing to reach you now but i might never reach you

One of the significant highlights early this year for me is finding my childhood collection of cutesy stationery. Makes me wonder, does anyone miss the romanticism of postal letters? I also wonder if many postmen had lost their jobs since keeping in touch became so easy.

When I was little, I used to write letters to my cousin--who is practically a stranger these days. Sometime after I graduated from junior high school, I kept in touch with one of my classmates through written letters, sealed, stamped, and delivered by mr. postman himself. And sometime during my college years, I stayed in touch with one of my best friends from junior high through letters that were distributed by her boyfriend--who coincidentally went to the same faculty as me. And who can forget all those greeting cards for Eid Mubarak day.

Don't you miss the personal touch of when you write your own notes beneath the default printed words on those cards? Don't you miss the excitement of seeing the postman handed you envelopes with your name written on them?

I understand that we have to move on with the time. Besides why would anyone waste money on stamps, and wait for 2-3 days for their messages to be delivered? We have emails now. You go online, type, and click send. Voila.

But ask yourself this, do you still write emails? Doubt it. Why write long emails describing about what you've been up to, how you're doing, how's that new job working out for you, etc, when you tweet about it every minute. You eat, tweet about it. You get a raise, tweet about it. You get into a quarrel... Tweet. About. It.

I bet many people don't even text anymore. Why waste Rp 350 out of your phone credit, when you can share mushy, sickening, or even gory details with all of your followers?

And when Eid Mubarak comes, or even your birthday, you can always post one of those tacky pictures of mosque or birthday cake on all/any of your Facebook friends' walls.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone for choosing the easy way out. Just don't lose the warmth of a personal touch, of your signature, of inside jokes... The romanticism.

Me? The last time I wrote a letter was sometime last year, or two years ago to my boyfriend. Yes, I occassionally (rarely, more like it) write my boyfriend letters which I slipped in the book I gave him for birthday, or his hand (and begged him not to read it until he got home). I know right, I'm cheesy like that. And the last time I felt the excitement of receiving something from the postal service was when Ayu sent me a postcard from Thailand about a month ago. So yeah, I'm also writing this post for myself, to remind myself not to turn into an internet bot.

So there you go. A piece of my mind. Anyone interested in writing a letter on a piece of paper that later you will neatly fold, and put in an envelope? Well you can write to me. My address? I'll DM you, or better yet, post it on your wall ;)

It's good to know that you are home for Christmas
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well
[Travis]

we are the ever-living ghost of what once was

1st post in 2011.

Yes, it's 2011 already! I wanted to do 2010 year in review, but come to think of it, there isn't actually any highlight of the year. It's been good, yes, but could've been better. I had high hopes for 2010. I started the year with the exhausting but best trip to Yogyakarta. But for the following 12 months I didn't do much traveling. Well, there was that Singapore trip, but you know, I still hold grudges because The Killers canceled out on me.

Speaking of concerts, let's list the gigs I watched in 2010:
1. Kings of Convenience
2. Imogen Heap
3. Belle and Sebastian
4. Kula Shaker and Ian Brown
5. Smashing Pumpkins, Stereophonics, The Wolfmother, and the likes at Java Rockin' Land

The best gig: Stereophonics, with Kula Shaker not far behind.

Let's go back to talking about how the year ended and began again. I spent the new year's eve at this place called Lumbung Padi to watch Gema rocking out some tunes. Turned out, it was somewhat a private get-together, so it was intimate--for him, because it was filled with his friends. Then I got emotional, maybe because I missed people that have been absent from my new year's eves for a while now. Maybe because I desperately wanted to feel so buzzed with the noise, the booze, the air just so I could forget about being emotional. Or maybe, I don't know. For other maybes, you can check Ped's blog--what she wrote is exactly how I felt. So on new year's eve, I was practically a walking, emotional wreck. Gema must have thought I was a nutcase, but well he signed up for it :D

Anyway. So I rocked the early of 2011 by... painting. On canvas. Fancy. This might be another hobby for me, so stick around.

Now I'm back at the office, with the ever-so-slow internet connection. Blah.

1st post in 2011 and I can't even compose it right.

Okay, let's talk about 2011:

Things to look forward to in 2011:
1. Bali trip *amiiiin*
2. Ped's & Bangun's wedding
3. ...er, anyone else wanna get married this year? *winkwinknudgenudge*

Things to do in 2011:
1. Get a better job!
2. Exerciseeee! (Sureeee)

Gah. I'm bored, Imma do something else. But before I go, here's to a lively, exciting, adventurous 2011! *cheers*

waste bin full of paper, clever rhymes, see you later!

I've spent years of my younger phase thinking that I wanted to be a writer. I like to read, I like to write, and I intend to keep doing both for the rest of my life. There were times when I also wanted to be a journalist, because writing fictions seemed too... naive. Then came a day when I realized that I wasn't cut out to be a journalist, I'm just not that... driven. So I settled on writing fictions, and compilation of pretty words people call poems, but I don't think mine are sophisticated enough to be called as "poems".

Anyway! Back to writing fictions, one day, my friends and I decided to compile our short stories and publish them as a book. We registered for ISBN, we had talks with the distributor, we had our book launching brouhaha... And, now I have an "author profile" on my Goodreads.com page instead of the regular profile. A small gesture of acknowledgment that is kind of a big deal for me.

However, since then, I haven't written much anymore. In fact, I wrote tens of unfinished stories, and only finished about... one. Then Twitter spoiled me rotten. I wrote pieces that I call twitteratures. Literature in 140 characters or less. Big time cheat. These days, I don't even write those anymore, until today. I squeezed my brain out, and only managed to write three twitteratures. Neat.

Okay. So I intended to keep writing, but I'm a little behind on it. What about reading? Well, basically the same thing. I still read books, but less than what I expected. Meanwhile, my friend can finish 20-30ish books in a year (*cough*Ayu*cough*). Another never let a day go by without reading a book (*cough*Nilam*cough).

Then it hit me. I don't deserve the author profile page on Goodreads. Because I don't write anymore. Hell, maybe I don't even deserve a regular profile on Goodreads, because I don't even read anymore.

In the end, it's not that I stop trying altogether. I still read whenever I can, and I still try to write. It just makes me wonder, am I just not cut out for writing in general? Or is it just that I'm not trying enough?

have yourself another dream, tonight, maybe we can start again

Gone are the days of being a 25 year-old. I don't want to talk about it. Probably because I don't have much to talk about. And I don't want to talk about how I feel like I don't have much to talk about. Or the fact that this is probably the 1st birthday where I had a breakdown because I felt old and lost.

I have to find my way, soon.

Because. Don't you wanna be a hero, at the very least for yourself?



Runi, out.

we dressed the same ways, only our accents change, so have a nice day

So. Anyone catch the Java Rocking Land 2010 last weekend? Well I did, for the whole three days. But I wasn't a devout visitor though, I just watched what I wanted to watch, and one or two more. And I only stayed for the international bands. Because if it's one of ours, then heck, I can catch that anytime. These are the very few bands that I saw:

1. Smashing Pumpkins
Anti climactic. They performed many new songs, or old songs that were either too rockin' or too dreadfully dragging, and they didn't come out for the encore. And there was supposed to be an encore! Boo, Billy Corgan, I know you're like, a god, but you can't do that to your fans. And you know, why don't you just please the crowd? For a not-yet-hardcore fan like me, the holy trinity of 1979, Perfect and Try Try Try would've been good. I would've asked for the less-known The Boy, Thirty Three, Meladori Magpie or a bit of cover job like Landslide, but that would be too much. And you know, the Pumpkins isn't quite the Pumpkins without Iha and D'arcy. The only things that saved Mr. Corgan were Tonight, Tonight--which was beyond! And well, the fact that he had me at "Time is never time at all".

2. Arkarna
I've seen them live on their heyday and it was super, so I didn't actually want to see them last Saturday, because I don't want to ruin it. But I was waiting for Stereophonics and had nothing to do, so. Ollie the lead man is the only remaining original member of the band. That kinda takes away the charm a bit. Again, I don't know most of the songs, although they did perform Future's Overrated, Eat Me and of course, So Little Time. Ollie pathetically missed few notes. All in all, it was like, wrap it up, wrap it up, boy.

3. Stereophonics!!!
Exclamation marks!!! To be honest, it wasn't the Pumpkins that made me hurry up and buy the tickets, but listening to Dakota while driving one morning made me do so. And boy oh boy, was I right or what? Stereophonics was perfect. No, I'm not exaggerating. They are perfect. Kelly Jones's voice is the talk of the day. That, and the band's overall performance never missed a beat. And they performed 90% of the songs that I expected them to perform. Dude. This might be the best gig I've seen this year.

4. The Wolfmother
If you're young, and you're hip, chances are you have them in your IPod. Well, I'm bordering on ancient, so I never really listened to these guys from down under. But Gema was really psyched on this one, so I stayed a while for these hairy dudes. They're pretty good. You know, rock and rollin. Good performance too, no off-key moment, and the lead vocalist sounded Robert Plant-ish, which was very cool for a young dude like him. But I feel like I would've appreciated them more if I had listened to some of their songs beforehand.

5. Mutemath
I wasn't planning to catch this one--I had never listened to them before--but I did. My comment? Interesting. Their sound was so eclectic. I couldn't get used to them, because one song sounded very different from the next. But that's not a bad thing. At one point, one song (I know none of the titles) sounded like Sting's. At another, it sounded like an edgier Coldplay. What really caught my attention was their performance. It was, festive, if I may say so. The interesting-looking vocalist liked to dance around geekily, and he played the keyboard with his legs flailing up in the air. He sort of cartwheeled over his keyboard, he took a set of drumsticks and start banging on his keyboard, the mic stand, the additional drums. In fact, at some point, there were three people from the band banging three sets of drumsticks on things. Wild.

Aaaand, that's it. That's all I saw. I was planning to see The Vines, but I came so late, they were just wrapping up the last song when I got there. But that's ok. Stereophonics tops my chart this year, even more than Kula Shaker. It just what I needed after starting the year with the good-but-mundane Kings of Convenience and Belle and Sebastian.

Yeahhhhh, Jakarta, let's bring more acts here!

well you can't get what you want, but you can get me

Let's talk about expensive stuff, shall we? Since I want so many things but my money seems to dissolve in the rain lately, why don't I just post them here. That way I can be reminded to save more money to buy them, and you can be reminded that my birthday is in a month. Just sayin'.

1. The Art of Tim Burton

The book contains artworks of Tim Burton--if you can't tell that already. With personal text contributions from Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Danny Elfman, Winona Ryder! It costs USD 69.99 for the standard edition, and USD 299.99 for the deluxe edition! Muy expensivo. But one can't put a price on one's holy bible, right?

2. Flash for Diana

It amazes me when people can take pictures without any flash. I can't. What's the point of having the oh-so-fun-and-so-easy-to-carry Mini Diana if I can only use it outdoor, on bright daylight? It's USD 60.58, but I think you can get it for IDR 500,000 here. Same difference, I know.

3. Lomo Spinner 360

This is like, the coolest of the uber cool in toy camera world. This camera takes panoramic picture to a whole new level by enabling you to capture 360 degree view! I don't know if they have it here, but you can always purchase it online for only USD 145.66!

4. Polaroid SX70 Original

I've always wanted an instant polaroid camera. But then they stopped producing the camera and the film altogether. You can still get the secondhand, warranty-less camera here for about IDR 400,000, but it'll be a pain in the ass trying to find the film. However, The Impossible Project decides to reproduce the camera and the film. And I want this one, the SX70, which costs USD 332. The compatible film will cost you USD 10 up to USD 44.

5. The Raveonettes and Flaming Lips live in Singapore


Okay, so I just found out about this from Twitter. The Raveonettes will visit Singapore, Jakarta and Hong Kong. So why did I choose the one in Singapore for this wishlist? Because Jakarta is the only city where The Raveonettes will perform without Flaming Lips. Uncool. Plus, the one in Singapore is on November 11th! My birthday (there goes the 2nd reminder in the post)! It would be so cool to turn 26 while watching The Raveonettes and Flaming Lips.


That's it for now. Looking back, three out of five are camera-related. And none of it is professional stuff. Oh well *shrug*

Happy shopping, fellows!

Okay, now to the fun, don't-deserve-to-be-in-the-same-post-below, post. My best friend got married yesterday! She's the first of the gang to get hitched. And I wish for no less than infinite happiness for her and the hubby. Because if anyone deserves a great, great, great love, then she's it. So, you might not read this blog, but,

-----

Rozelle and Yudho, have a superduper fantastic lifelong journey! *cheers*
-----

so you lost your trust and you never should have

Warning, readers! I'm going to rant a little, and most likely, it's not what you think it's about, so you might as well just skip this.


You! Sometimes I wonder if it's a mistake to have faith in you. More often than not, your words sound far-fetched for me. But I've always given you the benefit of the doubt. Unlike the words from the song, I never lost my trust when I really should have. But now it's getting tiresome, and I'm really mad at you, but I know I won't be able to say anything to your face--or these days, by phone. So I'm gonna keep quiet.

And questioning myself, is it a dumb mistake to have faith in you?

arrest this girl, her hitler hairdo is making me feel ill

If I can live under one roof with my Christian sister, and join the merriment of setting up a tiny Christmas tree for my nephew,

If my sister can still participate in the sungkeman part of Ied holiday,

If my once Christian, now Muslim cousins can contribute joy to their aunties' Christmas celebration

If my Christian best friends can wish me a merry Ied, and I can wish them a merry Christmas,

And if we can do all of those with ease and sincerity, then why can't some people? Why am I still reading about Islamic group stopping (even harassing) Christian congregation from holding their Sunday mass? Why am I still hearing rumors about some extreme Christian group that tries to provoke religious conflicts in Jakarta?

Doesn't it make you wonder, how stupid and how crooked can the police, the government and (most of) the people be to let a group of people get beaten up with sticks simply because they tried to pray to their God.

In case you didn't know yet, I am enraged by the news about the congregation of Batak Christian Protestant Church that were allegedly chased out of their Sunday mass. And don't get me started on how Ahmadiyah followers are treated like pariahs. Those followers include children, one of which got bullied and had rocks thrown at him by his friends just because he is an Ahmadiyah follower.

For weeks, or months now, I've been asking myself, what can I do about it. I really don't know, but I really wish I do.


What can you do about it?

let them know you realize that life goes fast

Have you ever been forgotten? A friend forgot to text and ask you to go on a group get-together, just because he lost count of the people in the group. Or a mom forgot to ask what kind of cookies you wanted, while she already baked walnut cookies--your sister's favorite.

Or on a slightly more serious note, a friend forgot to maintain your friendship that eventually led to friends drifting apart. And you ask yourself, why should you be the one that call first, give hangout invitation first, text first, ask 'how you doing' first. Then somewhere, you finally gave up and drifted apart.

Yes, I think I've been forgotten on a level like the above-mentioned cases. Sometimes it pissed me off, sometimes I just went on a idontreallycare mode and moved on.

But then, last Sunday, I went to see my one and only almost-89-year old grandma. She was checked in to a hospital, because there was a slight problem with her heart--which my mom said was normal considering her age. Aside from muscle pain, she was pretty okay. She talked, and laughed, and reminisced the old days.

But she couldn't tell who I was. And it took her a while to put two and two together. She confused me for my sister, for my sister's child, for my mom's grandchild, before she finally settled with "Prie's daughter". And I don't think she called me by my name that night.

And then I couldn't help but thinking, why didn't I call before, why didn't I visit more often, why didn't I ask how she was doing before. Why wasn't I be the one that maintain the relationship after all? Because if I had kept in touch better, then maybe she would remember me. She would remember me like she remembered her youth, or like the nice times she used to spend hanging out with my late grandma.

At that moment, I just fully appreciated the times when I came over to her house and she would greet me by calling my name and said "most beloved granddaughter" in Dutch. Yep, pardon the cliche but, penyesalan selalu datang belakangan kan? And all I can do now is do this keeping-in-touch thing better than before.

So. The moral of the story is--if there's any--life's too short to drift apart. Maybe it's time you take up on those offers to grab coffee, or a movie, or just to hang out, with your friends, or boytoys, or Dads.





On a note that is probably wrong on some level, I wonder if my gram remembers my younger step sister better than she remembers me...

i'm the goodness in the bad

This post comes from some random wondering.

I was reminiscing about the good old days, when I realized that I was evil. E. Vil. I didn't say hi if I didn't feel like it. I would snap and scream at my friends, and bite their heads off if I felt like it. I would make sarcastic remarks even when I knew it was uncalled for and it would be harsh enough to hurt some feelings. I did think I was the queen of the world who should be able to get away with everything.

But, then as I get older, I become, well, nicer. Haha, yes, I said that. I do think I'm nicer. But sometimes, just sometimes, when I see a feisty person, can't help but miss the intense cruelty that used to be in me.

Which leads me to this random wondering, if I lose the evil-me... By evil-me, I mean the one that makes fun of people's fashion (or personality) faux pas, that makes racist jokes (even about my own race), that gossips about people, that is so cynical sometimes she wouldn't give anyone any benefit of the doubt.

If I lose it all, would anyone miss it?

i don't know what i can save you from

Well, hello blog, hello readers (you guys still there, right?). Let's talk about where my moolah went lately.

Well, the 1st one actually didn't cost a thing. But sometime around the end of March, there was the 1st Indonesia Hot Air Balloon Festival in Sentul. I know, right? Dream come true. And in my head were sun-kissed photographic images of balloons, kites, kids running around, picnics, people laying on the green lush grass. Yeah. In reality, there was no green lush grass, no picnics... There were balloons, and the long line of angry and dissatisfied mob. The management was bad, many people couldn't get on the balloons. Can't say I wasn't disappointed for not being able to get close to the balloons. So, sun-kissed images? Poof. The balloons were still pretty though.

No picnic on the green grass

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Next day, there was the King of Convenience concert. Fell in love with them during their previous visit to Indonesia, I decided to break the piggy bank and go. Turned out, KoC weren't alone. The gig was opened by this new local band called the Hollywood Nobody--if I'm not mistaken. Maybe I was just jaded, but yeah, I wasn't impressed. At best, I think they're going to be just another stack of CDs on Aksara's shelves. And the lead vocal's shameless plug of her wardrobe and make-up. Puh-leez. It wasn't the red carpet.

Next there was White Shoes and the Couples Company. One of the bands that we--Indonesians--can be proud of (hello, Minty Fresh Record, that's uber cool). Frankly, I never really listened to their music, but it was entertaining (although my music critic of a boyfriend would beg to differ). But. Entertaining or not, it felt too long and I was getting really antsy waiting for KoC.

Then there was Jens Lekman. An artist that--it seems like--every cool hipster in town has to know. But I never listened to his music before the gig. Yes, it's because I'm that uncool. Mr. Lekman was good, he was quirky and talkative. And he had me (and Nandia, I believe) at doing-the-airplane-gesture.

And finally. KoC. They showed up, still as adorable as when I first saw them in 2006. But, Eirik was sick. And they ended up performing for about 1 hour only. What the. They didn't perform Know How and I was disappointed. There was one cool point of the night though, when Erlend Oye sang WSTCC's Bersandar. Cute.

Mr. Erlend and Mr. Eirik

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Three days after, there was the Imogen Heap concert. To be honest, I never really listened to her either. Yes again, I am that uncool. I was only familiar with Good Night and Go which annoyed me big time, and Hide and Seek (and I couldn't see what the big deal was with that song). Turned out, Imogen Heap was the thing that did not disappoint this year (after The Killers, Alice, Balloons, and KoC). The stage was supercool, the effects, her music, the opening acts. Tsk. I can't believe I never listened to her before.

Blurry Imogen Heap (silently points to Nandia, the photog)

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Fast forward to recently. Last Thursday, to be exact, I went to see the Disney on Ice show! Another thing that did not disappoint! I've always loved Disney on Ice. And this time the theme was Disneyland Adventure. So pretty much I was getting a mini, make-believe simulation of the happiest place on earth. During the opening number I was so happy and excited I wanted to cry. Hahaha. High points were Alice, Pirates of the Carribean and Disney's Haunted Mansion (or was it Haunted House?). I wasn't crazy about The Incredibles and Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch).

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Yeah there you go. My entertainment for lately. I was planning to write some more about me, but even I don't feel like it right now. Soooo. Until next time.