Sunday, August 29, 2004

sunday night b i t t e r n e s s

Last night I & Pedhe went to citos to meet Angga and Oho. Turned out, there were also Ebonk, Tesar and Reno. So we all went to Brew and Co. for some drinks. Not too long afterwards, we were just getting comfy with our asses on the sofa, when suddenly the lights went off and the waiter said that we had to go bcos they were closing. Too bad. It's been a while since I sat over some drinks with people other than BangunEbonkAngga (if you ever come across this, no offense, guys! x)). And last night, Tesar and Reno were at their best selves. They actually produced some words, and one in particular even said 'hi' first--to each of us. Big progress, boys! xD However, yeah, the night didn't last long. Everyone was heading home.

Fortunately, the 'home' i was heading to is Ped's. Yep, I stayed over from friday until this afternoon. Big thanks Ped, for letting me stay over. Really, thanks. It was nice to have a company 24/7. Well, not 24/7 exactly...More like 24/3 or 24/2,5...Yea, whichever, yknow what I mean.

Yeah, and surely, like every other good thing, it ends. Here I am, alone in front of this stupid computer, writing a bunch of lonely words, hoping to get at least a little bit sleepy. Unable to explain why, I'm not feeling my best right now. If only I know who's to blame besides the quiet and cold night air. And then with school coming up in a week. It means no more waking up at o1oo pm, no more laying around all day, no more mall-hopping (yea, I'm a mall hopper, so what?)...Au contraire, it means hello dirty campus, hello nerve-breaking assignment, hello people telling me what to do, and hello annoying. Frustrating.

Well well, lookie, I thought I'd put an interesting, long entry tonight. Guess not. Things never feel right when you're left alone, right?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

party/sex

Hellow, I just got home from Dinda's bash at the Little Bagdhad. It was fun seeing high school seniors in a sweet-17 party. Reminded me of those high school days. Yea, yea, yea, by now, you must be beyond bored with my fascination toward my high school times. Anyways, the fab four was in a full formation, plus there were Ebonk, Kacank, Bangun, Angga, and Oho. So, it was nice, considering usually I had to choose between the girls, or the guys. Oyeah, there was Hilman...and someone was reminded of certain someonee. Cute! Then of course I could never say no to shisha. I enjoy getting my brain turned into smoke and feeling all light-headed. Hahah. Oyeaah, there were balloons!! I and the girls brought our own balloons to the party. Hahah, we're at least 3 years older than the other kids, yet we were the only ones whose wrists had baloons tied up to them. Aaaand, of course we tried the helium trick. It's not as easy as I thought. It was like, 5 balloons for every 5 or 6 squeaky words. Surely, when we did manage to produce the chipmunk's voice, it was hilarious!! Yeah, all in all, it was nice. So girlsss, start thinking about our birthday plan! If it's not this year, well then, next year x)

[curiousity]
Not too long ago, there was 40 Days and 40 Nights on starmovies. And I watched it for like, the gazillionth time. Crappy, I know. But hey, Mr.Hartnett...Should I say more? Besides, I love the scene with the orchids. I think it's beautiful, in a way. Then it gets me thinking...When you're with this relatively "the right person" and add a little imagination, can this person gets you off without touching you and with a stem of orchids instead?? Cool. Then, there's another curiosity I get after seeing the movie. How many times a day do guys need to walk their dogs? I mean, in average. Does everyone I know do that in a daily basis? Even those guys who seem to be a holier-than-thou goody-goody virgin? Hahahah, some of you might be making weird faces right now, thinking, can't this girl find a more intellect topic to be curious about? Well, not now. Oyeah, this is irrelevant to Mr.Hartnett sex-related movie, but while we're on the subject, I'm also wondering, can people really get the big 'O' in their dreams? Heheheh.

However, people, don't bother yourself with this curiousity of mine. I just have the urge to share this with the whole world. Now, it's time to get lost in your mind...and here's a perfect song to go with it,

"two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain
sing me a rainbow it's sunny again
swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below
could I, could I keep dreaming for a little while longer

hope I'll never wake
when I'm thinking about you
so that you know - I never want to wake
cos now I'm thinking about you
"
[the sundays]

Friday, August 20, 2004

Life, lately...

Urgh, my comp is getting more and more unbelievable each time. So, since only god knows when my computer is going to crash (which most likely is soon) and I may not be able to update this blog in a while, I think I'll write something here while I can.

Went to campus on wednesday and thursday for...I don't know, really. Still, I haven't liked the atmosphere of it. Thankgod for Bune; practically everyone knows that I always steal her away from her friends and her works just so that she can accompany me. Heheh. Anyhoo, the class registration thingy's coming up. So, expect some whiny rants about how hectic it will be for me next week. By the way, I think I'll take Spanish class this semester. Should be interesting, I just hope my lazy ass won't get in the way.

[today's dose of stupidity]
Have you ever had so many secrets that even your journals and your closest friends aren't enough to keep it? Let's say, that your secret is...acting beyond stupid and then dissing people with some names-mentioning. And than not being able to keep it to yourself (or your posse), you have to tape it with a DV. Yup, I've done that. Lotsa times, in fact, knowing that no one can get their hands on those tapes. Well, shit happens. Long-story-made-short: one of those filled-with-sides-of-me-that-people-don't-know-yet tapes is somewhere across the sea at this very moment. Hahahahah, I thought things like this could only happen in the movie. Not too long ago, I panicked like hell. However, a few things have been done, and if everything works well, that tape is on the way to Jakarta tomorrow. Amen. Still, I can't sit still.

Mmm, okay, what else...what else..
Oyeah, I'm going to someone's sweet 17 party tomorrow. Should be fun, since I can never go back to mine. Heheh.

Owkay, that's about it. No more materials for the updating. Sooo, see yaa! x)


"listen to the waves..
everything communicates..
will it ever be anything more than
wishful thinking
"
[duncan sheik]

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Perrrfect

Last night, Pedhe & Bune came over and rescued me from a boring family event. And then we went to Rosel's.

My point is...I met him yesterday. And at night, I met all PedBunRoz. Thankyouuuuu God!! What a fine way to spend a saturday....May there be more days like yesterday x)

Friday, August 13, 2004

The not-yet-5th-semester breakdown

I woke up at 6 today, after sleeping for like 3 hours or less. And I went to campus for the english gathering thingy. Like I predicted, it took a long time to get started and even with a longer lunch break. Being there felt like an eternity in hell! Then I was chosen to be one of the PJs as in 'Penanggung Jawab' for one of the events. And people told me that it was just a piece of cake, but still, don't they know that me and responsible don't go well together. Good idea in choosing me, guys!! x6 And people know I hate responsibility. I hate that pressure you know, okay Run, you're a blahblahblah, and your job is blahblahblah. Creeping me out!! Not to mention tomorrow I've to wake up as early as today, and then go all the way to depok again to hear people debating one another and talking the same stuff over and over and over again.

However, things weren't that bad today. I mean I got to see some friends (a very few, yeah people, force me to come, while yourself manage to find reasons not to come). But still, I got that I-wanna-go-home feeling. I wasn't feeling comfortable staying that long in campus and talking to people. My gooood, I could just breakdown and scream or cry or whatever right there! No offense people, I still feel like I don't belong. And I don't feel like going back to campus right now..

Huhuh, I know I'm complaining here...And god knows I hate myself when complaining. But I just need to get this crap out. That's okay, right?

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Here's a taste of an amateur blogger.

New layout, people. Spent so many wee hours to find a skin that won't clash with the fuckin ad-banner. Found one, and I changed the image into my own personal (I know it's just a bunch of words, but still..give me a li'l credit here). And I know it's getting harder to read my entries; yknow, with the itsy-bitsy font size and blurry words on the background, not to mention the 'get high. dream. fuck' ones that aren't blurry. But you readers (a very few of you), stay loyal! I'll change the layout as soon as I find a better one. Remember, comments are always appreciated... ;)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna sleep and make up for these past few days.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Li'l lesson from Mr.Mayer

"When you first meet somebody, you find out they like you first of all. A friend of a friend of theirs says he/she really really likes you and it floors you, kills you, sends you to the ground. You gotta pick yourself up off the ground and then you get their phone number and you call them up right and you say, "Yeah that was a great conversation, can I see you sometime?" And then they say this, they say, "I'd like that" And "I'd like that" makes you fall on the floor again. Your heart is about to stop because of "I'd like that". Nothing feels better than "I'd like that". So now,your blood pressure's goin'. You're six feet off the ground. You can't sleep because of "I'd like that". So then you hang out for a while and you call and you talk on the phone all the time and then you drop the bomb or what feels like the bomb.You say, "You know what? I've been thinkin about you a lot". And she goes "Haaaaugh!" And you go "What happened?" and she goes "I'm sorry. I just. I just. I just. That's...I've been thinking about you too". BAM! Higher into the sky. But now, "I'd like that"? Done! Now you're up to "I'm thinking about you".

Then, however number of months pass, it makes you feel comfortable saying it, you say "I gotta tell you something". They go "What?". You go, "I'm in love with you". And nothing in the world sounds better than "I'm in love with you". And then maybe she starts crying or maybe she goes "Huuuugh!" And then all of a sudden you're like, "I'm in". But now, what doesn't work? "I'd like that" and "I've been thinking about you". Now we're at "I'm in love with you". Then maybe someday we move up to "I love you". Fastforward, now you're like "I love you a lot. I love you more than anything in life". Now "I love you" doesn't work. It's a threshold. It keeps moving up.

Fastforward like six months, six weeks, whatever the case may be. Now you're on like, "I wanna marry you. I wanna impregnate you with my love. I wanna- I wanna just send my love to you. Damnit! Words don't work anymore!" And then you say this line and you know- you know you've used this line before. "I just wish they'd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love, cos love just doesn't describe what I feel". And so then, now he or she starts asking "Do you love me?" And you start going, "Of course I love you". Well say it!" And then it becomes "Say it twice" and they go "Say it three times". And then, you cross a really interesting point, where all of a sudden it becomes "I hate you. I hate you". And you go "Oh my God, she hates me". And now it's "I hate you more than anything!" And then it's like "We're over!" And they're like "No, we're not!" And you go "Yes we are!"

And now the words completely do not work at all. You're left with nothing. You're throwing punches under water. You're done! You know what the moral lesson of this story is--if there is one?

Never ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of "I'd like that.""

[John. Taken from Any Given Thursday concert]

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Mengejar Matahari? I already have three of them here xD

Persahabatan adalah setiap detik yang dilalui
adalah hidup...adalah berlari...
..mengejar matahari..


Hahahah. I just watch the movie with the girls. Mengejar Matahari, yknow. Yes, so I went with my 3 best friends to watch some local movie about friendship between four guys. So sue us for being corny. The movie was good! I mean, finally, a local movie with some quality. And the fact that two of the actors are good-looking gives a plus point ;) I and the girls went ga-ga over those guys. Okay, I hate to admit that I go crazy over some local stars; but Fedi Nuril is cute. And Fauzi Baadilla is just an epitome of a manly man...Heheh. We were being kinda noisy back in the cinema, gushing over the guys, and of course, crying our eyes out! xD Rosel didn't cry at all though, she already knew how the ending would be. Rosel and...wait, only Rosel who didn't cry. Hahah, do the math, people!! ;D The movie has a good story, yknow, friendship and all. You'll be surprised at how much we can relate to the movie. Some things remind me of my own friendship, right, girls? ;p Well, thank god we live a better life than those guys. I'm glad we're all still alive today and none of us is going to jail for killing someone. I still want the four of us to hang out together for a long, long time.

By the way, you know when was the last time I went to watch a movie before this with the girls? All three of them?? December 2nd 2002!! Sick. However, it was nice going to a movie with them again. Definitely should do this more often, girls! Come on, when you all have become succesful, you'll be too busy to go on our supposedly-biweekly gathering. Okay, so none of you will be stabbed by some preman and none of you will be arrested for shooting people in the head. But maybe, some of you will be busy with your book's deadline, your multi-millionaire company, or maybe, some of you will be busy walking around in Amsterdam. Sooo, why don't we see each other as often as we can now...while we can. Seriously, I love each time spent with you girls! We rule, you know xD Yeah, keep on babbling about this friendship thing, Run. No one read this except maybe for pig #2 xp

*From another note: Remember the rainbow I keep looking for (or waiting for)? Well, it's just a beautiful thing with its beautiful colours that I can't guarantee to stick around infinitely. So, all I'm saying is, thank god I already have the sun here with me...times three x)

Hahah, that friggin movie has managed to bring out the corny side of me!

..us, aug 2nd '04..

Sunday, August 01, 2004

"..i would drop my life to take her place.."

Hellow, readers! Relax, no heavy stuff for tonight. Just wanna write something...

Lessee, I just bought new pair of glasses today. Everyone, say hello to the queen of geeks! 8-)
I don't know if I'll wear it in public. Maybe I will. Maybe it'll be fun to go outside the house looking like a...well, geek. Maybe these glasses can hide me from the world...apaaaa siiiih, Ruuun. Well you know, at times when you don't want to deal with anything, when you just wanna hide those eyes from being read. Or when they get teary. Or maybe when you just wanna hide them bcos no one is around to look into them anyway...Well, you know.

Yea, anyway...*I have no idea what I'm talking about*

Last night I & Pedhe went to Bangun's. There was Hilman and he was hilarious. I don't know...He has this dorky stupidity in him. It's nice when you have an amusement like him around, yknow. Bangun's wasn't as crowded as usual, though. In fact, it wasn't crowded at all...it was...quiet. Calming, peaceful, but not yet comforting. It was nice having weeds practically coming out of my ears though. Wish I could smoke weeds like, everyday and then just easily go to sleep. O yeah, speaking of which (of what, actually :p), you know what I miss? I miss being drunk and the stupidity of it...yknow, being a handful 5-year-old to people. Like the 1st time I touched booze, or when I was being an ass to my classmates in Puncak, or those NY's eves. I miss me running around, jumping around and just being overly active. Hahah, can't wait for the next NY's eve, I guess.

Anyways, tomorrow I'll catch some movie with the girls. Wee-hoo! x) Of course, after Bune's back from her course, and Rozelle from her short-semester classes, and Pedhe from her campus. Eeeek, I'm the only loser who'll still be sleeping at 12 pm tomorrow! xD Hahah, guess the hols is almost over, huh. It's obviously over if you look at my contact list on msn, there are only 2 people who are online! Lany and Dita. Yeah, like I have something to talk about with them.

Okay, I run out of craps to say. If there's some more, I'll be back!

"For when you find yourself
Pinned under her demands
I am still an option that you have

So carry me around
Like a picture in your purse
Pull me out when things are at their worst

You can show up at my house
Completely unannounced
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about

Where there are no words
Just a soft and gentle score
Our ears will ring from all the strings

We'll let the screen go black
And watch the credits run
And see the names of everyone

Who we ever met
And who we ever missed
Each one had a role in this

It's just another film that won't get made
I'm sick of seeing you cry
"
[her space holiday]

Love this song. Sindrow just sent it to me tonight...Already, I love it. I didn't write all the lyrics down though. By the way, can I rephrase the last sentence into 'wanting to' instead of 'seeing you'?